Navigating the workplace as a Christian: When meetings are tense

Every so often we have a meeting that does not end well – a meeting where tempers fray, division is evident and maybe unkind words are spoken.

Hopefully it does not happen often, but when it does it hurts. Chairing meetings like that can take it out of us. And, once home, it is easy to let ungodly thoughts go round our head.

We might replay conversations – dwell on the hurtful things said – or allow ourselves to indulge in thoughts of putting others down. It’s easy for ungodly behaviour to follow on – that unwise drink, that unwise website, that unkind word to someone with whom we share our home. And the next day the pain and exhaustion can lead to a hardened heart – maybe an escalation of the situation rather than peace.

None of us want meetings like that. But what can we do?

Evenings that finish early

One of the reasons we can struggle with meetings, and post-meeting emotions, is because everything is happening too late at night. The meeting ended when we were exhausted. Any processing has to happen in a few snatched moments at the end of the day. Finishing at 9.30 rather than 10.30 can ensure everyone still has the energy to exercise self-control and everyone has the chance to reflect and pray after the meeting is done. Meetings do, of course, need to be long enough to allow proper discussion, but slightly shorter meetings can sometimes focus the mind and get just as much done.

Evenings that finish kindly

If we are struggling with strong emotions in a meeting, it is likely that others are as well. It can be tempting to simply draw stumps, pray a really short prayer and then run home. But all can benefit from a moment of quiet reflection – a Psalm – a prayer that commits the ongoing discussions to the Lord (and does so without any pointed comments being made). Doing so helps people end with eyes lifted to Jesus, with hope and peace in their hearts.

Evenings that finish reflectively

Once home, it can be useful to spend just five minutes reflecting. Grabbing a notepad and noting down the following can help bring calm and plan for the day to come: What emotions am I experiencing? Name them before the Lord. What do I need to repent of ? Attitudes if not actions often go astray. What am I going to avoid? I am not going to hit the bottle / fridge / social media feed. I am not going to email X before 3pm tomorrow. What am I going to pray? Take just a few short moments to start – you can pray more the next day. Such things don’t make everything better, but they can help us set a trajectory towards responding well.

Evenings that finish with perspective

Before going to bed, it is worth remembering that the problems posed by the meeting are not the biggest thing in life. They may be important – they may be close to your heart – but they are not bigger than God or His plans and purposes. In fact, His sovereignty and care are as sure and certain at the end of a hard meeting as they are at the end of a good one.

One idea is to imagine holding all the hard things about the evening in the palm of your hand. Then remind yourself that your King is reigning over you – your Shepherd is leading you – His Spirit is indwelling you – and He, as your rock and refuge, is surrounding and protecting you. It helps put the evening in perspective and adopt an attitude of trust before heading to bed.

Can these things guarantee a good night’s sleep or a productive morning the day after? Sadly not. But they can help grow trust, peace, godliness and perspective, and that is never a bad way to respond to a hard meeting at the end of the day.