Tears to joy
We are constantly reminded that we live in an imperfect, fallen world.
Although we have dreams and longings here, we know that they will only ultimately be fulfilled in Christ in glory. Even the very best of everything in this world comes with some disappointment. So we have to manage our expectations and our thinking, especially as singles who have the desire to be married.
Holding onto myths
When we read the Psalms, we see that there is much lamenting by those who are Christians, yet we dearly hold to the myth that if we are Christ’s then bad things won’t happen to us and we will get what we hope for. We think that if life doesn’t go as we expect then we are to blame; we have guilt and shame. So we cry over the bad thing or disappointment and we cry because we think we are being punished. We hang our head in shame and let others judge us. When we are blessed, we rejoice and are tempted to think that we have now done something right to deserve it. However, this thinking is completely wrong.
In Psalm 126, the Lord did great things for his people and they were filled with joy! But then they had a season in the desert, with no mention of their sin, and they cried out for their fortunes to be restored. ‘Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy’ (v.5). This encourages us that God sends seasons of tears into our lives and as we sow our tears for good and his glory, we will again sing songs of joy.
Growing in grace and fruitfulness
Ezekiel 36.26 says: ‘I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh’. Pastor Tim Keller has commented that the Christian at conversion has just such a change of heart and that our hearts grow softer and bigger as we mature in his grace. We feel more pain, we have more tears, and we ‘suck up’ the sorrow of the sin and evil that affects us and those in the world around us. It is part of the fellowship of sharing in the sufferings of Christ; he who is called ‘the man of sorrows acquainted with grief’. When the sorrows come, then we should invest them so that we grow in grace and fruitfulness. The tears produce joy; ‘our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us’ (Romans 8.18). We need to pray through our tears in the light of God’s grace, what Christ did on the cross, and our hope of glory.
Weeping without fear
God in his grace understands our weeping and our raw emotions, and we need to pour out our hearts honestly before him. He is our Father who sympathises with us when we speak desperately, even incorrectly, to him. He loves us unconditionally and we are safe to go to our God of grace. We need to remember the cross, which is why God understands us because of Christ’s cry of dereliction: ‘Why have you forsaken me?’. Jesus was abandoned in our place so that we can never be abandoned. Weeping in grief or disappointment is fine, but self-pity, impatience, unnecessary guilt and pride are fruitless. When we are assured of the hope of glory then we can weep without fear. We can know joy to sustain us and we can be involved with other’s lives to bear their sorrows.
Is this a time of tears for you? Then do not let it be wasted, but pray through your tears and you will soon be singing songs of joy again, giving glory to God.
Jacqui Wright is a single Christian, an independent speech and language therapist and chair of Bedford Christian Singles friendship and fellowship group.
