Whose approval are we seeking?

One of the most captivating autobiographies that I’ve read in recent years is that of the late Matthew Perry. He was adored by millions of people across the globe for his role in one of the most beloved sitcoms of the past 30 years called Friends. He brought his own unique sense of warmth and humour to his much-loved character Chandler.

Once the dust had settled on his death, I remember hearing someone remark that Chandler was the person Matthew Perry truly wanted to be in real life, but wasn’t. His autobiography doesn’t just reveal a man who "had his demons" but a soul that struggled deeply with the need for approval.

He said this in an interview about performing in front of a live audience: "I felt like I was going to die if the live audience didn't laugh, and it's not healthy for sure… if I didn't get the laugh I was supposed to get, I would freak out. I felt that every single night. This pressure left me in a bad place."