Parenting: When we’re not there

There’s nothing quite like a new experience to reveal our hearts, is there?

As I’m writing this, I’m getting my eldest (who is nine) ready to go to a camp for the first time. I knew she would be a mixture of nervous and excited. What’s surprised me is how I’m reacting to the preparations.

Last night I lay awake with these thoughts running through my head: Will she get a headache from forgetting to wear her reading glasses? What if she doesn’t put on her sun cream properly? Will she know who to turn to if she’s feeling homesick?

Being the planner that I am, I thought it best to address these things with her. I reminded her about her glasses. I told her it was a good idea to get her dorm leader to supervise her putting on her sun cream. And I asked her: “Who do you think will be a good person to talk to you if you’re feeling homesick?”

She is very excited that her “BFF” [Best Friend Forever] is going to be sharing a dorm with her, so I’d assumed she would say her name, and I’d planned my response, which was going to be something like, “That’s a great idea; she’s a good friend, and she’ll comfort you. Don’t forget you can talk to your dorm leader about that, too.” But my daughter’s answer took me by surprise. And it shouldn’t have.

She said, simply: “God”.

Of course! How often, as adults, do we turn to God only after we’ve tried to fix a problem in a human way first? Here was my nine-year-old challenging that attitude in me, without even realising it.

It reminded me of an instance a year or so ago. Yet again I was awake in the night overthinking (OK, worrying) about my children. We’d lately got into a good rhythm of family Bible times over breakfast, but I’d suddenly felt really challenged that, though we model it, my husband and I hadn’t really been encouraging our kids to read their Bibles on their own each day, too.

I was praying to God in the night, feeling guilty for what I thought of as negligence on my part, and asking him to help me chat to the kids about it in the coming days. I fell back to sleep, and actually ended up sleeping through the alarm the next morning, which I hardly ever do.

When I did wake up, I came downstairs to find my husband and kids all happily eating breakfast. Out of the blue, one of my kids said to me: “When I woke up this morning, I decided to read my Bible before I came downstairs.”

It felt like God was saying to me: “Katie, I’ve got this. I made your children; you’re not responsible for everything.” It’s not like my kids consistently have personal devotional time every morning now, but it was a start.

So often as parents we can overburden ourselves with concerns for our children, forgetting that it’s God who is in control, not us. We are not responsible for everything. We need to trust Him with our children’s souls, with their spiritual walk, and at times even with their sun cream.

In these two instances, God addressed my concerns without me even doing anything, while I was literally sleeping. Parents, let’s look to the Lord, “who will never slumber nor sleep” (Ps.121v4), casting all our anxiety on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5v7).

I pray that we’ll be able to trust Him with our children in those times we’re not there, whether it’s their first day of nursery or school, their first camp, or when they are about to leave home for the adult world. The perfect Parent has got them.