When the phone comes to church

We’ve been studying Romans 14 at church recently, and the teaching has covered "disputable matters" – issues where Christians, in good faith, may disagree.

Politics, preferred Bible translations, and permitted leisure activities on a Sunday are all examples of what might fall into this category nowadays. But one such "disputable matter" is rapidly moving up the agenda for many Christian families: just what should we do about smartphones and children in the church?

This question around smartphones echoes a wider conversation taking place across society. The government's announcement earlier this year that it would strengthen restrictions on phones in schools with legislation was welcomed by almost every teacher I know! While there are legitimate questions about how any ban would be enforced, most school leaders are relieved that this thorny issue is no longer being left entirely in their hands.

Behaviour, wellbeing and learning

In my work with the Association of Christian Teachers, I have heard growing concern from colleagues over the past few years about the hold smartphones seem to have on pupils and the resulting impact on behaviour, wellbeing, and learning.

Teachers I speak to report declining attention spans in lessons and see first-hand the impact that excessive screen time is having on children's cognitive, language, and social-emotional development.

The evidence of the wider cost of children having smartphones in their pockets is becoming clear. In The Anxious Generation (2024), Jonathan Haidt highlights a sharp rise in anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide among pre-teens and teenagers over the past decade. He argues that the main cause is the spread of social media and the rise of smartphones since 2012. On average, teenagers receive 237 smartphone notifications daily – about one every few minutes – even during lessons!

Safeguarding risks

The safeguarding risks are also significant. Children can be exposed to sexual content, explicit messages, and pornography, including increasingly violent and degrading material, with just a few taps on a screen.

Some studies suggest that children are encountering pornography as young as seven or eight years old, often completely by accident, with the average age of first exposure now around 11. By the age of 18, the vast majority of young people with smartphones will have seen violent pornography.

And it isn't just sexual content or the risk of grooming. Children can also be exposed to shocking images and videos of animal cruelty, serious accidents, death, violence, and other disturbing material, often without actively looking for it. The internet can place content before them that previous generations would have struggled to encounter at all.

And this is before we even consider the wider consequences: disrupted sleep, rising levels of childhood obesity linked to reduced physical activity, and the declining opportunities for children to play, socialise, and develop relationships with their peers outdoors.

Spiritual impact?

But the concern is not merely psychological, physical, or emotional; I'm convinced that there is a spiritual dimension too.

The average 12-year-old in the UK now spends around 29 hours a week on their smartphone – the equivalent of a part-time job. Online content accessed via devices in their pockets will be shaping our children's perspective on the world just as much as school, church, and family life. That should give us pause.

So there's no doubt that smartphones have the potential to be harmful. But there's also perhaps a necessity for those of us with anti-smartphone leanings to refrain from being excessively evangelical about the topic with those parents who have chosen a different route.

You see, the debate is rarely between simply banning smartphones altogether and handing an unrestricted device to a four-year-old. Most Christian parents are not approaching the subject carelessly. They recognise that smartphones bring genuine risks and challenges, but they also understand that digital technology is likely to be an unavoidable part of adult life and are thinking carefully and prayerfully about how best to navigate a complex issue. They want to set healthy boundaries, limit screen time, use parental controls and monitoring tools wisely, and have ongoing conversations with their children about responsible and godly use of technology.

Smartphones in church

A few weeks ago, we had a church lunch, and as the adults chatted over their jacket potatoes and salads, the kids were largely crowded around the one or two individuals who had smartphones.

They seemed to be engaged in fairly benign activities: watching silly videos, filming each other being daft, and using funny filters. But it still unsettled me. I instinctively wanted to tell them to put down the devices, run around outside, or engage in face-to-face conversation. But I knew that might offend other parents, so I refrained from intervening.

It made me wonder whether there are some very practical questions that some churches may wish to consider as they seek to disciple children, young people, and families in an age where the digital world vastly encroaches. This might include reflecting on the place of smartphones in church services and youth ministry, and how churches can lovingly navigate differing expectations among families regarding smartphone use.

Biblical principles

Practical questions are helpful, but Scripture does not speak directly to the digital age. Perhaps it is better to ask whether Biblical principles can help us think wisely about the place of smartphones in church life.

I believe there are four principles that we as Christians should hold to when we think about navigating this issue in the local church.

1. Seek the common good. Jeremiah calls God's people to "seek the welfare of the city" (Jeremiah 29v7). That means asking not simply what is best for our own children, but what is best for all children.
   
   There is growing evidence that smartphone culture is damaging social interaction, attention, sleep, and wellbeing. Church activities and events offer a rare opportunity to create spaces where young people can connect with one another, engage in conversation, play, and be physically active. Restricting smartphone use at certain events may benefit everyone, particularly children and teenagers whose emotional regulation, impulse control, and decision-making abilities are still developing.
   
   
2. Protect the vulnerable. Scripture repeatedly calls us to protect those who are vulnerable. Children are naturally more susceptible to harm, and smartphones can expose them to significant risks, including pornography, cyberbullying, grooming, and exploitation. The challenge is that even when parents carefully monitor or restrict their own child's device use, their child is often only as protected as the least restricted child in the youth group. Harmful content can easily be shared between devices.
   
   Churches take safeguarding seriously in many areas; it is reasonable to ask whether smartphone culture should be part of that conversation too.
   
   
3. Remember that real relationships matter. Smartphones allow us to communicate, but communication is not always the same as genuine relationship. Online interactions can give the impression of connection while lacking the depth and accountability of face-to-face friendships.
   
   The apostle John wrote, "I hope to come to you and speak face to face, so that our joy may be complete" (2 John 12). Church should be a place where young people regularly experience meaningful in-person relationships, rather than simply more screen-based interaction.
   
   
4. Bear with one another in love. This remains a disputable matter, and Christians will reach different conclusions. Unity in the church is more important than agreement on every secondary issue. However, that does not mean we should avoid examining our smartphone culture or think that the topic is insignificant.
   
   The goal is not to dictate or judge, but to create an environment where families can have honest conversations, respect one another's consciences, and think intentionally about what will help young people flourish. This may mean challenging assumptions that have quietly become normal, but graciously accepting that others may think differently. A "one size fits all" solution may not be possible.

As parents, my husband and I are convinced that smartphones should be delayed as long as possible when it comes to our children (that is not to say it will be easy when we are wrestling with them over the issue!), but we are also mindful that others will legitimately come to a different conclusion. When different parents come to different conclusions on this issue, it is important to move forward together in a way that promotes unity.

If schools and the government are increasingly recognising the risks smartphones pose to children and young people, I do however believe that churches should be taking the issue more seriously. As Christians, convinced of the Imago Dei, we should think carefully about how smartphone culture is shaping the next generation and whether it is helping or hindering the formation of humans designed for connection and made in the image of God.

In the spirit of Romans 14v13, we should seek not to place a stumbling block in the path of others. But it does mean that church leaders and parents should be willing to have honest conversations about the kind of screen culture we want to foster.

Ultimately, the question is not simply whether smartphones are permitted, but whether our habits are helping us to love God, love one another, and raise our children well.