Dane Ortlund: Young men today lack social skills

Popular pastor, author, and speaker Dane Ortlund says young men who learn basic social skills will be "in the top three per cent" of their peers.

Setting out a checklist of behaviours which he says they should learn, he claims that "rudimentary inter-personal skills" are getting rarer year by year.

In a post on social media platform X, the well-known US author of Gentle and Lowly and Surprised by Jesus addresses "young men", and implies that 97 per cent of them currently lack simple relational tools in the areas of conversation and courtesy.

Ortlund writes: "If you will learn early on how to: shake a hand, look people in the eye, ask a question, listen, stand up straight, [and] be on time... you will be in the top three per cent of your peers before anyone cares at all what your grades are, what you do for work, how strong or good-looking you are, how much money you make, what you drive, or who your family is.

"We could add more skills. How to have a conversation, introduce yourself, apologize [sic] read a book, and more. These are hugely important too. But they are harder. The above bullet points are B-A-S-I-C and easily learned."

He concludes: "Rudimentary inter-personal skills are rarer with each passing year and those who receive basic coaching in this arena of life strongly stand out."

The post has received more than 27,000 views so far, but has received a mixed response from those reacting. One commenter said: "Sadly the older people who used to exist that were impressed by that are now gone. Ranking now is done anonymously, without much in person interaction, over text, email, or app notification. "

But another wrote: "Solid advice. This is what’s often wrong with our generation. I’ll add this—hold doors open for people."