Lily's testimony: Amazed by the heart of Jesus

I first met Lily 17 years ago when she joined our toddler group. We chatted occasionally, and her children took part in our church's kids clubs and activities. Over time, we lost touch except through Facebook. I had no idea then that the safe space we offered - through friendship and community - would later become a vital part of Lily’s spiritual journey. It’s a beautiful reminder that God is always at work, even when we don’t see it. I’ll let Lily share the rest in her own words.

Lily's story *

I was raised within the Catholic Church, and often felt confused and unworthy. As a child, I was told that being born to unmarried parents made me a product of sin and destined for hell. That message of shame and fear shaped my early view of God. Church became a place of kneeling, confessing, and never feeling forgiven. That sense of never being “good enough” drove me away from both church and God altogether.

After leaving an abusive relationship, I began to sense something greater than myself guiding and protecting me. In the darkest moments, when I should have felt completely alone, there was an undeniable presence - gentle, quiet, and protective. Now, I know the Holy Spirit - He was with me. The presence was His.

I soon reached out to my dear friend Sharon for help. She welcomed me without judgement, offering warmth, kindness, and practical support. Through her, I was introduced to the Bethel Church community, where for the first time, I felt loved, safe, and accepted simply as I was. Sharon also gave me The Heart of Jesus by Dane Ortlund, and it changed everything.

Reading that book was like having the gospel explained in a language my heart could finally understand. Dane’s words revealed a Jesus I had never met before - not distant, disappointed, or punishing, but gentle and lowly in heart. He describes Jesus as the one who moves toward sinners and sufferers, not away from them. It was as though Jesus was saying to me: “You don’t need to clean yourself up before coming to me. Come as you are, I’ll hold you, heal you, and love you.”

Each chapter felt like a conversation with someone who saw my pain and wanted to lift it. The more I read, the more I realised I hadn’t stumbled upon faith again, I’d been found. The image that stayed with me was of Jesus running towards me, arms open, saying: “Finally, you’ve turned around, and I’ve been here all along.”

That book softened years of self-blame and allowed me to experience God’s love as personal, patient, and tender. It healed wounds that decades of striving never could. Through Glen Scrivener’s 3-2-1 Course, the Bible came alive in a way I had never experienced. The gospel became real, relational, and full of hope.

Today, I know that I am chosen, loved, and held by the God who never once let go of me. The Heart of Jesus didn’t just bring me back to faith, it showed me who Jesus truly is. And that has changed my life forever.

*Lily’s name has been changed

PfE women is an everyday evangelism series written by women in Passion for Evangelism - an organisation committed to empowering, equipping, and encouraging women to share the good news of Jesus.