‘So how exactly do I repent?’
It wasn’t a question I was expecting – it wasn’t a new Christian on the other end of the phone – but the query wasn’t frivolous or posed with ill-intent. The faithful sister to whom I was speaking was quietly reflecting a simple fact: often we assume people know how to live a life of ongoing repentance, sometimes we don’t set aside the time to teach them how.
It’s a difficult area. We don’t want to build layers of rules into something that is deeply relational at heart. However, there are plenty of people out there keen for help. So, how do we encourage them (and ourselves!) to repent in ways that are biblical and wise?
The shape of repentance
Maybe posing questions is a suitable place to begin. Posing questions with humility, of course, because none of us has any right to look down on others when it comes to sin.
We can try: What kind of life is your loving and holy God calling you to live? Can you articulate the areas where your desires and behaviour are going away from God’s path? And, in what ways are you both convicted and saddened by the gap that exists between God’s way and yours?
Such thought-starters can set the scene. The aim is not to burden people with guilt (and we should be aware of any suffering that is making faithfulness hard), but people will only come back if they realise they are going astray.
The questions don’t need to stop there – we can go on to help people remember who God is: Do you know that God still loves you in your rebellion? What difference does it make to know that God is your perfect Father right now? In what ways is God calling you back to something better?
The heart of repentance
Once the building blocks are in place, the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15) can help people take the next steps. In the mud and mire of the pig sty, the prodigal comes to three life-changing conclusions. (1) It’s better to be with his father than away from him (v.17). (2) He needs to stop living the way he has been choosing and actively return to his father (v.18). And (3) he decides to speak with his father in ways that are honest about his sin and acknowledging his utter dependence on him for the future (v.18-19). We can encourage people to do the same. Of course, David does something pretty similar in Psalm 51 after he’s confronted with his adultery – his verses can become our words if we find it difficult to know what to say. In taking these steps, people turn around – return to their Father – for the grace that only he (through Christ’s work on the cross) can provide.
The basis of repentance
And, at this stage, spending time reflecting on the great swap brought by Christ’s death and resurrection can remind people of both the method and sufficiency of God’s great rescue plan. No matter how well taught people are, it’s easy to fall back into a works mindset rather than relying on the undeserved mercy of our Lord and King. Where to go? 1 Peter 2.24-25 (with its glorious echoes of Isaiah 53) can be a helpful place to begin.
The persistence of repentance
The prodigal son, once accepted back by his wonderfully forgiving dad, resumed living as a son. The robe, the ring, the fattened calf weren’t just celebratory trappings, they were signs he was living with – and for – his father once more. We can encourage one another to do the same. Repentance isn’t about cheap forgiveness and then back to rebellion – there’s a call to believe that forgiveness is real and to live in the light of it by living wholeheartedly for God. Of course, we’ll need the help of the Spirit to do that well. And, when we mess up again (which we all will), we’ll need to repent afresh. But that’s the Christian life and we can live it confident that Jesus’ work doesn’t bring limited grace but complete forgiveness for God’s precious children.
