People often make assumptions about those in leadership. They assume our hearts are always soft and our quiet times always bring joy.
They imagine we never forget to pray – that sanctification has come easily – and that our shoulders are so broad that we can keep listening and supporting without showing a crack. I once even had a woman exclaim to me: ‘It’s ok for you, you don’t struggle with sin’ (needless to say my friends put her right on that one without delay!).
Leadership path
Leaders are meant to be mature – those whose faith is sure, whose gifts are tested and, most importantly, whose character is godly (Titus 1).
Years of experience will quite possibly enable us to display the kind of wisdom that comes with following Jesus closely – and learning from the many mistakes we have made. And, through living a life of repentance and faith, we will be able to look back to what we were, and see change.
But, as many of us in positions of responsibility know, the battle with the world, the flesh and the devil is still hard. The excessive workload, which gets even larger when we give in to the desires of our wayward hearts, constantly vies to push time with the Lord out of the window. The pressure to be seen as godly, ironically, encourages us to cover up our sinful hearts rather than seek help – image trumping integrity. The expectation – from within and without – that we should be able to cope, nudges us to deny feelings of weakness … until the cracks get so wide, they are clear for all to see.
Complex path
So, how do we function as competent leaders and simultaneously wrestle with the things within that show we are desperately weak?
There are plenty of suggestions in the world. Self-care is one of the buzz words of our day – and there is wisdom there – but still we need to wrestle with how that fits with the picture of Philippians 2. There’s always the option of just getting on with doing the right thing, with a deep sense of responsibility, emotions in neutral. But that doesn’t fit well with the Jesus who wept – the apostles who were compelled by Christ’s love.
Honest path
Maybe the simplest way to describe the way to walk wisely in the light of the high expectations of others and the painful reality of our heart is this: honesty. Not telling everybody everything – that would be inappropriate – but an absolute commitment to honesty in three directions.
• Honesty with self. Our old self and new are constantly at war, and that is not going anywhere this side of heaven. Facing up to that reality – and not believing the overly positive or negative assessment of others – is vital. How different would we and our ministries be if we genuinely prayed the Psalm 139 prayer asking God to search and show us our hearts? If we really believed that being weak is OK because that is when God’s strength is seen?
• Honesty with God. His mercy is so abundant. His patience so immense. Any temptation can be fought so much better with Him. Any sin can only be forgiven in Him. And He loves to hear our prayers. Confession – in specific not just general terms – is our daily call. Without it, we have no-one to rely on for change but ourselves.
• Honesty with others. We are designed to share lives, not just the gospel (1 Thess. 2:8). We are designed to change as others speak into our lives (Eph. 4:15). Growth doesn’t flow well when we are alone. Others within the church – or sometimes within a network of leaders – can provide the encouragement, accountability, wisdom, community and love we need.
There are, of course, some things we do not want to be honest about – they are the ones that need our honesty the most. But as we bring them into the light, we will begin to see we are more sinful than we thought, but also more forgiven, more loved, more nurtured, and more equipped to lead than we could ever imagine.
