“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.” 1 Peter 2v1 (ESV).
How much time and energy do we waste ignoring the green-eyed monster of envy, desperately seeking alternative explanations for conflict and relational breakdown? Unacknowledged envy is one of the devil’s cleverest tricks and can blow a church apart.
Envy of what others have or have achieved is such ugly sin that we will do almost anything to avoid admitting it – how humiliating is it to confess that not only do we feel inferior to someone, but we envy what they’ve got and we want them to fail? But it’s just as difficult to acknowledge being envied! How proud does it sound to say: “They’re just envious of me?” We don’t want to consider that possibility, so we look for something wrong with us that we can at least do something about! And we can usually find something, especially with the help of criticism or accusation from those who are envious of us!
And so we engage in a dark dance of avoidance in which the envious self-justify by accusing the envied of some objective wrong, while the envied must join in self-accusation, or risk condemnation as arrogant. It’s a devilishly clever bind in which neither party dare acknowledge the true cause of conflict. Envy is a relational cancer in the church, forever trying to hide itself behind apparently rational justifications.
Facing envy. Treatment of this cancer starts with accurate diagnosis. We need to name it! Our naive and wilful blindness does no-one any favours when it comes to dealing with sin. I often wonder whether we evangelicals actually take our own doctrine of sin seriously. To the extent that we don’t, churches become places where the worst of sins can flourish in the dark. Are we willing to consider envy as a factor in conflict? There is good reason the Bible talks of it so much. We need to face reality and cultivate a self-awareness that comes from honest relationships in which we are deeply known. Then ugliness like envy can be exposed, confronted and repented of.
Recognising envy. How might we recognise envy in ourselves? It is often a subtle and vague feeling, but we might start by humbly asking ourselves these uncomfortable questions:
- How do I feel when I hear of someone’s success? Do I rejoice, or desire to add a “but” and say something negative so people know what they’re really like?
- How do I feel when I hear of someone’s failure? Is there a little – even a tiny – bit of pleasure? I may tell myself I’m only sharing information for prayer, but is that what makes speaking of someone’s failure feel so good?
- Can I give thanks to God for a person and praise God for their strengths, gifts and successes? Can I speak positively of someone to others with no “buts”? If not, why not? What am I afraid of in another’s success?
- Though I need to listen prayerfully to accusations against me and be humble enough to admit wrong, I also need to consider envy and false accusation as a possible explanation. False accusation is powerfully dis-equilibrating and difficult to reject without sounding proud – that’s how it works! If I find myself stuck in a bewildered inner loop of self-examination with no clear sin to repent of, false accusation arising from envy may be in play.
Preventing envy. The body of Christ is the expression of the reconciling efficacy of the cross, by which we are united to Christ and one another (Eph.2v15) so that the world may see the presence and character of Jesus. Further, a healthy functioning body needs each part doing what God made it to do and not envying the other parts (Eph. 4v16)! That’s what’s at stake and why we must contend for unity (Eph.4v1-3).
Most foundationally, however, envy functions as a diagnostic sign revealing the reality or otherwise of our relationship with God Himself. Eph 2v18 describes access to the Father through Christ by the Spirit. If fellowship with the Triune God is not enough to deliver us from envy by making us content and secure, then nothing will be. In our discontent, we will resent those who have what we don’t, or try to get from others what we lack. And that’s the opposite of love. This is why the daily practice of thanksgiving to God for everything is a bulwark against envy.
If the Triune God invites us to fellowship with Him and makes us members of the functioning body of Christ in which we make our own contribution and not someone else’s, then we have all we need to be content and laugh at the temptation to envy, rejoicing in the gifts and successes of our brothers and sisters.
