Are you, by any chance, a bit of a perfectionist? You have high standards for yourself, yet struggle to acknowledge your achievements? If your answer is ‘Yes!’, or you know someone like that, then this is for you.
Perfectionism lies at the root of much unhappiness. Indeed, perfectionist attitudes often correlate with poor mental health such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders and even suicidal thoughts. Pablo Martinez, a Christian psychiatrist, writes about the ‘inner policeman’, a nagging voice telling us we’ve not done enough, or we’ve not done it right. When he gets the upper hand, we are in spiritual and psychological trouble .
Psychologists have identified three kinds of perfectionism. First, outside pressure, like the Christian leader who feels that his congregation expect him to be a perfect example. The second is the pressure I create for myself, like the young man sobbing his heart out because he came second in a test at school. A toxic combination of these two are loose on social media, fuelling the doomed quest to look fabulous. Finally, there are those who pressurise others to be perfect, as one man said to me, ‘My genes loaded the gun, but my boss pulled the trigger’.
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