Dear Editor,
I was heartened to read Kay Morgan-Gurr’s recent article on inclusion on the en website (‘Churches and accessibility: time to change’). How the church welcomes, cares for, and disciples those with additional needs is, in my view, one of the great challenges of this generation. It’s personal for me as a parent of three children, two of whom are neurodiverse. But it’s also a pastoral concern.
In the church I lead, we’ve seen a drastic increase in the number of Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) children attending our groups on Sundays and midweek. In addition, we have an increasing number of adults with various additional needs and diagnoses.
Through my wife’s ministry alongside Kay at a major Christian event, we’ve met with a number of parents of SEND children. One of the tragic things was the number of times we heard a similar message – of church leaders failing (or in some cases, apparently simply refusing) to listen and understand the experiences these dear families are living through.
As church leaders, we urgently need to think about how we respond to what is both a challenge and a wonderful opportunity. Neurodiverse children and adults have many wonderful gifts and attributes that the body of Christ needs!
Perhaps these questions might help fellow church leaders:
Do our children’s and youth volunteers really understand SEND and how to minister to SEND children? If we refuse to make adjustments, we’ll simply make church an impossible place for SEND children to thrive.
Do we understand what life is like for parents of SEND children? Their home lives are often tougher than we can imagine, and when they come to church and see other families behaving ‘typically’, it can be devastating. It’s no wonder that SEND families are often among the least regular attendees at church. Do we write them off, or genuinely seek to help them?
Do we show SEND families genuine fellowship? It’s not uncommon for SEND families to turn down invitations because of fear about how their children will behave. How about taking a different approach and offering to bring a takeaway round to their house, so their children can stay in their safe place? Try it, get to know these families, love them and it will be a blessing to them and to you.
How are we as church leaders going to pastor those with SEND as they grow up? We need to understand how the neurodiverse mind works if we’re going to shepherd people well.
With an increasing number of people – adults as well as children – being diagnosed with some form of additional needs, this will not only be a major challenge, it will become a major crisis if we don’t begin to get to grips with it properly now.
Yours sincerely,
Tim Diaper, Lead Pastor, King’s Church Flitwick
When someone isn't ready to call themselves disabled
For the first two articles in this series, see: "My church friend has become disabled: What do I do?" …