BEAUTIFUL UNION:
How God’s vision for sex points us to
the good, unlocks the true, and (sort
of) explains everything
By Joshua Ryan Butler
Multnomah Press. 288 pages. £15.99
ISBN 978 0 593 445 037
Content warning: this book and therefore this review contains material some may find difficult.
This newly published book has been the subject of not insignificant controversy following the publication of a single chapter of it by The Gospel Coalition. But beyond the headlines (and the tweets!), is Butler’s book considering sex and soteriology worth reading?
Having now read all of it, I think on balance I would have to say ‘No’. There are some great reflections, and his delving into the covenantal nature of relationships (human and divine) and unpacking of Hebrew terms is worthwhile (despite occasional light prooftexting, which I confess I never prefer). A fresh take on Ephesians 5 is always interesting to read, even if unpacked somewhat graphically as it is here – I struggled with the ‘ick’ factor throughout the book at the use of language. However, if my litmus test is whether or not I would recommend this book to friends preparing to marry, this book fails. Sex is an important part of marriage, but in making the sex act alone an icon of salvation we do the rest of the marriage relationship a disservice – as a covenanted way of being it is far more complex. Images of sex and marriage are used in Song of Songs, Hosea, Ezekiel, Ephesians to help us develop a theology of God’s relationship to His people; Butler’s exposition is thought-provoking, but could be considerably more thoughtful.
As a woman, the suggestion that men have an active role of ‘generosity’ and women a passive role of ‘hospitality’ during sex is deeply challenging. The use of this word made me wonder how much hospitality the author has been involved with offering, without the support of a spouse or a team of volunteers – little of the hospitality I’ve been involved with has felt very passive on the part of those offering it! Butler’s approach risks reducing women to receptacles, and risks minimising the importance of mutual pleasure and joy in marital sex.
In a culture where #MeToo has been so needed, and where posters go up on the tube and buses to try to ‘keep women and girls safe against “common examples of sexual harassment” ’, I don’t think women need to read about how we have a passive role during sex, or to have the vagina referred to as the ‘Most Holy Place’. Or that men display ‘generosity’ and provide a ‘sacrificial gift’ during the sex act. For any women who have suffered trauma or abuse, especially that done by Christians, much of this book may feel like a knife to the heart as well as being potentially harmful. There’s a lot here that Josh Butler’s editors and publisher should have picked up on – when it comes to sexual metaphors, this book goes too far.
But Josh Butler is right that we do ‘need a new sexual revolution’. He is clear in his powerful conclusion that God’s vision for sex IS ‘way more beautiful and compelling than anything else on offer’. We were each of us made for beautiful union – as Butler points out – a beautiful union with Christ Himself.
