Leading through letting go

This summer saw a team effort in our back garden as my 12-year-old son and I prepared to build a raised garden bed. I am not in any way "handy" like this and had some doubt, but he was just so excited to be included and “grown-up". Then came his inevitable request: “Can I do it, Dad?”

Efficiency told me to say no. I had things to do: boards needed cutting, screws needed putting in with a power tool. But something nudged me... This moment wasn’t just about wood and soil. So I let him try. Of course, the initial measurements were off, and all the screws fell on the floor. Tears welled. “I can’t do it,” he loudly announced. My hand twitched impatiently, ready to take over. Yet the real project was not a garden bed but a boy learning perseverance, and a father needing some humility! If I stepped in too quickly, I’d definitely save the project but perhaps stunt the growth of my son. I could easily take over, but lose the real lesson for him and for me.

Lessons for leadership

In our desire to develop leaders, taking over often feels like love. We justify it as quicker, neater, more efficient. But it can rob people of growth. Parents, pastors, and leaders all face the same tension: Will I prioritise results, or people?