It’s nearly Halloween – the annual ‘celebration’ of all things dark and sinister, cobweby and pumpkiny, spooky and scary.
For many parents, nothing is scarier than the question children ask about Halloween: Not ‘Why are those people wearing scary clothes?’ Or ‘Why are my favourite sweets suddenly orange?’ But ‘Why can’t we do Halloween like my friends do?’
It’s the seasonal variation of a much bigger question: ‘Why can’t we be just like everyone else?’ – and it applies to everything, from what our children are allowed to watch or play or attend, to whether they can have a mobile phone or a social media account.
‘Everyone else is doing it’ is not a reason for us to. ‘Everyone else is doing it’ is not how we make decisions. ‘Everyone else is doing it’ begs the question ‘Why do you want to be like everyone else?’ Everyone else might be – but have any of them asked why?
Don’t miss the opportunity this Halloween (or whenever else this issue raises its head) to talk it through. Not with a whack-a-mole approach: ‘I don’t care what everyone else is doing, I am head of this house’. But with a conversation rooted in our identity as those who are saved by Jesus and trusting in God’s wisdom and love for us.
Paul’s transformation
In Romans 12:1-2 Paul writes one of his amazing summary sentences – the gospel in a nutshell. He has spent the last 11 chapters telling us salvation’s story – the bad news of sin and the good news of Jesus. Now he hits us with these take-your-breath-away verses: ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s great mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.’
Because of what Jesus has done we are different people. Saved people are changed people; not conformers but transformers! We don’t just do what everyone else does without thinking. We don’t conform to the world, because our hearts are won by His love for us. This is not a bad news, grumpy, everything-is-off-limits, be-a-weirdo verse! We are transformed by the renewing of our mind. This means we think differently, we ask why, we consider whether something we want to do will help us love and follow Jesus. Being transformed is being made into something better, someone who knows what God is like and what He wants, someone ready to do what God wants. There’s nothing better in the whole world we could be than people who are being transformed to know and do His will.
So, no – we are not going trick or treating, you are not having a mobile phone yet and we are not watching that film. Because I want better for you. Because we are transformers, not conformers. Because we trust God’s wisdom and heart before we trust your peers. Because as people who are saved by Jesus, and loved by Jesus we’re meant to be different from everyone else.
In your families and churches, talk about how you can be transformers at Halloween. We can knock on doors in our roads and give them sweets and a handwritten tag with the words of John 8:12. It is likely that this door knocking will be a true treat for those who long for conversation and the love of children. You could just be delighted that the children in your community want to knock on one another’s doors and smile. Just for one evening, we fleetingly have the happy, warm, hospitable neighbourhoods that we crave. We can give sweets to children, pause for a moment of happy banter and send them on their way pleased to have knocked on our door.
By talking about the best way to fill our communities with love, we are showing our children that while conforming may be simple and uncomplicated, living as transformed lives is brave, exciting, and has the potential to bring far more joy into the lives of those around us.
Go to www.faithinkids.org for more resources to help prepare the parents in your church for Halloween.
