Is complementarian theology really abusive?

I recently found myself tagged in a lengthy Twitter discussion.

Megan Cornwell interviewed me for an article called ‘Is complementarian theology abusive’ for Premier Christianity. She posted a link, and the responses began. It was like watching a tennis match, a type of Twitter ping pong. Tweets passed backwards and forwards. The rallies were long. An accusation followed by a defence with a counterargument returned.

It was conducted in largely polite terms, but it was clear that neither side was moving. Despite well-argued attempts and long Twitter threads, Twitter is not a format for nuance. I observed from the sidelines. Behind the discussion lay different experiences and stories. There were those who had experienced abuse versus those with a more positive experience. Both stories were true. When this happens, Twitter tennis can go on forever – deuce, advantage, deuce. At one point, someone said this: ‘Complementarianism tells women not to listen to the Holy Spirit, but to rely on their husbands listening to the Holy Spirit. This is unscriptural and denies the lordship of Jesus in women’s lives.’