Gentle parenting or Biblical parenting?

A Christian grandad has just returned from a weekend with his ‘clan’. His children are all Christians, married to great Christian spouses and he adores his grandkids. He knows he is blessed indeed. He wanted to have a quiet word with me: “It was chaos! I can’t see how modern parenting methods can work. The parents aren’t in charge.”

Church is a place where we can compare and discuss different generations’ styles of parenting. It might not be a common or simple conversation. Most of us would walk away from a conversation about our parenting style feeling awash with insecurity, judgement and fear! My friend, the Christian grandad, remembers being obeyed the first time he gave a command. Smacking was a part of his armoury, so were big bear hugs and family Bible times. In his day, it would have been normal for children to feel an element of fear when their father confronted them over their behaviour.

Gentle parenting

Today, young parents with their children in nappies are hearing about Gentle Parenting, and if they’re not hearing about it, they are breathing it in because none of us stand totally apart from the culture we are in. Gentle Parenting stands for empathy, calm discussions with your child and never the threat of punishment. The goal is for the child to make their own decisions and to understand their own desires. The parent is the narrator and the encourager. The small fly in the ointment is sin. Social commentators are noticing that this generation of parents have to clench their teeth and vibrate their knee to keep themselves from screaming in absolute frustration. Their children are not working off the same agenda. They are not so empathetic with their siblings. They do not gently share; they snatch, whack and shout. It will always be a shock to a parent the first time they see their little angel push over the other kid or hear them brazenly lie.