… because the sexual revolution demands one’ says Glynn Harrison
‘Mindful of the Church’s teaching that Christian marriage is indissoluble, and conscious of my duty to the Commonwealth, I have resolved to put these considerations before any others’
With this announcement in 1955 the Queen’s sister, Princess Margaret, broke off her engagement to a divorced man. The British establishment and media had been scandalised and public opinion was divided.
This was the 1950s, an era of conformity and convention, rather than striking out on your own. It was an era when divorce was mentioned in hushed tones, ‘fallen women’ shamed for their ‘illegitimate’ children, and when homosexuals were sent to prison.
But change was already in the air. Although initially scandalised, public opinion over the affair soon began to divide. Sections of the media rallied to Margaret’s cause. Commentators began to argue that the establishment needed to move with the times. Few could have foreseen, however, just how far things were about to move.
Revolution is my name
Starting in the 1960s, divorce rates began to rise and eventually rocketed sixfold. The number of marriages fell steeply as well. The institution of marriage entered a deep recession, especially among the poor.
As a result of these changes, today cohabitation is the norm and nearly one half of children are born outside the marriage bond. By the age of 16, only 50% of children will be found living with both biological parents. Marriage itself has been re-defined to include same sex couples and we are no longer sure what being a particular ‘sex’ – male or female – means anymore.
How can biblical Christians engage more effectively with this great revolution? Our approach has tended to be adversarial, engaging in what some call the ‘culture wars’. But this doesn’t seem to capture the imagination of many of our young people. Talk of defending our rights, circling the wagons, fighting for our cause, doesn’t seem to light their fire.
Further, this defensive posture creates the impression we have a good idea what we are against – pornography, immorality and the rest – but little notion of what we are for. Do we really have good news in this area, I hear people ask? If so, what is it? Why is there such a famine of able Christian communicators in this area who can inspire the imagination, winning hearts and minds?
Hard power / soft power
It’s time to think more carefully about how we cast a more positive vision. We could start by taking a more thoughtful view of the revolution. What gives it such cultural traction? How come ancient beliefs and convictions that governed our ways of life for centuries were so easily discarded?
The political theorist Joseph Nye talks about hard power and soft power. Hard power is getting what you want by coercion. Soft power, on the other hand, is the ability to get what you want through attraction. And the secret of the sexual revolution, I believe, is its soft power
Of course, the sexual revolutionaries know how to use ‘hard’ power. Express an alterative view to theirs – for example on same sex marriage – and you will soon experience the wrath of the Twitter mob.
But the real secret of the revolution isn’t hard power, it’s soft power. The revolutionaries cast a vision and an ideology that the human spirit finds deeply attractive. People saw what was on offer and they wanted it to be true. And until we understand that, and think it through, our apologetics will remain enfeebled and our public posture will appear fearful and defensive.
The cultural forces driving the sexual revolution could be analysed at many different levels. At a socio-cultural level, for example, the economic and social changes that led to the emancipation of women from traditional roles in the home played a crucial role in upending long-established ways of life.
But these social changes developed hand in hand with radical new ideas about morality and human identity. The revolutionaries cast an inspiring vision about the fight for authenticity, freedom and fairness. In sitcoms and romcoms the story was told over and over. Oppressed and marginalised people found their voice. This was about heroes who claimed the freedom to be truly, authentically, themselves.
Stories versus facts
That, I believe, is the secret of its power. The revolution urged us to cast off religious straightjackets of bigotry and shame, and choose flourishing and fairness instead. It offered life, and life abundant.
And we responded with facts – about AIDS, STDs and pornography. And when church leaders eventually issued some sort of statement about marriage, it read more like the terms and conditions of a software upgrade than a manifesto for human flourishing.
But you can’t respond to a great story with a list of facts. This has been our biggest mistake. You need to tell a different story. A better story. Our society isn’t interested right now in what biblical Christians are against. People want to know what we are for – especially in relation to today’s big questions of what it means to be an authentic person, to be ‘free’ to express yourself in your sexual identity, and to be treated fairly.
Connecting to the spirit of the age
Of course, engaging with ‘what people want’ should not prevent us discerning the idolatries that underlie their desires. In many ways the freedom to define one’s own identity is the ultimate ‘serving the creature rather than the Creator’ (Romans 1.25). That is the critical analysis that should motivate us to reach out with the gospel.
But there are times when we need to offer reasons to believe as well and to underscore the plausibility of our case. For example, when Paul preached to the Athenians in the Areopagus, he didn’t begin by condemning their idolatry, rather he connected with, and then reframed it: ‘Men of Athens, I perceive that you are very religious …’ (Acts 17.22). He quoted their own pagan poets and sought to connect with their spiritual longings.
And that is why I have written a book. We need to connect with the revolution’s moral vision. We need to acknowledge people’s moral instincts for freedom from oppression, for flourishing, and for fairness and then tell a better story of our own. But what could that look like?
A Better Story
First, we could begin by critiquing the sexual revolution on its own terms rather than ours. Has it delivered the freedom and flourishing that it promised? In fact, it has failed spectacularly.
There is the terrible impact of the collapse of marriage among the poorest. It is children who pay the price. They have been the revolution’s biggest casualties. And, irony of ironies, compared with 30 years ago, people are having sex less often today. Like all idols, those of the revolution offered more and more, but delivered less and less.
Second, values of freedom, flourishing and fairness are, and always have been, big gospel values. We share the revolution’s moral vision. But in our story we get there by a different route and look at these concepts through a different lens.
The simple genius of Jesus’ uncompromising view of holy matrimony is that it binds men to their responsibilities for the children they bring into the world. With its emphasis on promise keeping and personal responsibility, the biblical vision builds moral capital and enriches human ecology in ways that protect children, enhance community and defend the poor.
And finally, we have a great story about what sex means. The biblical moral vision tells us that, made in the image of God, at our core we are lovers. And sex is part of our homing instinct for the Divine. The aching eroticism that sits at the heart of our human experience points us to where all of human history is heading – the marriage feast of the Lamb.
Rightly ordered, our sexual desires tell the story of God’s passionate and faithful love for his people. And so, when we love rightly, we commit to loving as he loves – with passion rooted in life-long commitment and faithfulness.
This is our story. This is the story we have to tell.
