‘They fell in love and lived happily ever after’, which is how Princesses’ fairy tales end and what all romantic hearts desire.
But they were not living in the perfect ‘land of the (eternal) living’, rather in the ‘land of the dying’ while they lived, which is how Matthew Henry describes Psalm 27.13. Yet this hope remained – ‘I will see the goodness of the Lord’ while I live on the earth.
Two marriages
Our story starts with two young Christian couples getting married, on different continents, and seeking to serve the Lord faithfully. One couple in full-time ministry internationally and the other in their occupations fully involved in the local church. They both had children; one had five and the other three. After ten years of marriage, the ministry couple end up in a ‘heavy shepherding’ Independent Church which brought abuse into the home. The teaching of the senior pastor, which was followed by the pastor husband, brought destruction to the family and the marriage. The marriage became ‘rent asunder’ although the wife tried to save it, stalling a divorce for nearly two years. This woman became a single parent of five children aged from eight to infant. She was betrayed, abandoned and cast off.
The other couple, after 30 years of marriage, discovered that the wife was ill with cancer and, despite treatments and prayer, she died within 18 months. The husband became a single parent of two young adults and a teenager. This man was now a widower and decided that he would like to remarry.
Single years
The woman spent 16 years as a single parent raising her five children and working to support them. They moved back to the UK to be near her parents for a number of years. Although it was lonely, painful and difficult, she continued to trust the Lord and, in particular, read a daily promise from C. H. Spurgeon’s Faith’s Check Book. She prayed that the Lord would remember her and her children and that they would be restored (Ezekiel 36.36). All of them took time to heal from the devastation of what happened. She sought to serve the Lord by serving the needs of single Christians. As the years went by, the promise remained unfulfilled. A couple of times, she thought she may remarry, but it was not meant to be. She became disillusioned and struggled with what God’s purpose was for her life, especially once all the children had left home. She had poured out her life and did not have material things to show for it. She came to peace that God could do with her life whatever he willed. It was not about her happiness here. He had saved her for relationship with him and for all eternity, and that was a gift far greater than anything else she could receive. She set her face ‘like a flint’ (Isaiah 50:7) to walk with God, in his strength, no matter what befell.
Tragedy
The man grieved and moved on. He dated and became engaged after a couple of years. A tragic event occurred: his fiancé was killed, but he was unhurt. He was deeply shocked and struggled with God’s sovereignty. But he knew how to grieve and he chose to trust God and move on.
Newly weds
Not long after, God brought together this man and this woman who had both been ‘left behind’. He felt ‘spared and prepared’ to be her husband; she felt ‘chosen, loved and not forsaken’. They believed in God’s purpose for them; they were surprised with delight at his sovereign goodness. They are now very happily ‘newlyweds’ and, dear reader, that woman is me!
Recommended reading: Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts by Drs Les and Leslie Parrott.
