Broken friendships and the power of the gospel

'Nicola and I are no longer on speaking terms’. Those were the chilling and frank words of Alex Salmond in the recent BBC documentary¹ exploring the breakdown of the long-term political partnership between him and Nicola Sturgeon.

She in turn spoke about the uneasy feeling that she lives with, when considering that some of the best moments of her life feature the man with whom she is now at odds. Certainly no love lost in this textbook impasse.

When 'sorry' seems hard

As I watched, there was one thing in particular that struck me. The cause that they both so passionately believe in and have given their lives to, Scottish independence, is not big enough to encourage them to find a way through their difficulties. There is little doubt that the independence cause has suffered as a result of their relational stalemate.

The Bible is no stranger to relational tensions: Cain and Abel (Genesis 4), Joseph and his brothers (Genesis 37), David and his son Absalom (2 Samuel 15-19), Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36). It’s par for the course in life east of Eden.

One of the most prominent is the relational breakdown between Euodia and Syntyche in the Phillippian church. The fact that Paul names both of them illustrates what a high profile and potentiality divisive breakdown this was. These two prominent women weren’t non-believers; nor were they young believers. They were Paul’s co-workers in the gospel who had laboured with him side by side (Philippians 4:3). Indeed, this may well be the issue that Paul was writing to address as he encourages the church to embody the humility of Christ in their relationships with one another.

God speaks a bigger word

What’s interesting is that Paul doesn’t tell Euodia and Syntyche to agree to disagree. That modern mantra just won’t cut it. No, Paul gives them something much more viscous and powerful than that. He tells them to agree in the Lord. In other words, the gospel gives these two individuals a bigger story in which they can seek an intentional, gracious, humble and patient reconciliation to their differences.

Australian author and speaker Stephen McAlpine writes;

'But imagine a church in which, when we get it wrong, we don't have to cancel anyone or leave the community and find another one because sorting out the problem is too hard. What if neither we hid our sin nor held the sins of others against them, but in both instances sought confession and redress?'²

In our world that too easily walks away, how different is the body of Christ. My heroes through the years are those everyday Christians who I’ve watched make themselves extremely vulnerable as they sought a restored relationship with a brother or sister. Reconciliation, after all, is the very heart of the gospel itself.

^{[1] Salmond and Sturgeon: A Troubled Union, BBC documentary first aired 10 Sep 2024.
[2] S. McAlpine, Futureproof, p.61.}