Screwtape: ‘Ludicrous games, unfulfilled promises’

An email from C.S. Lewis’ fictitious devil Screwtape has unexpectedly fallen into the hands of en.

My dear Wormwood,

you have had a great year. Beelzebub has heard of your labours and the whole Abyss offers congratulations on your work to undermine the wretched teaching of our sworn Enemy. Your success has been years in the planning, and you should be rightly proud of your mentoring of winnable staff in the despised Network of Light. As you know, we are unable to recruit religious agents directly to our cause and so rely entirely on souls apparently loyal to the Gate for the Sheep switching sides. Therefore, you should continue to develop your skills in helping the weak-willed to ‘broaden out’ (as I think you teach them to see it).

However, I must caution you lest you overplay your hand. In our playbook, of course, the ends always justify the means. It was entertaining that we should have such a public spectacle in the House of Overseers of ludicrous semantic games and reckless unfulfilled promises. These may yet elicit unnecessary support for those who are loyal to the Only-begotten of the Ancient of Days.

Allow me to refine some aspects of your strategy. For those who readily accept our briefings, it is important to keep reminding them that they are on the right side of history (we refer, of course, to the history we are writing), that this is progress (may they never discover it is actually regress), and that it is the way of love (even though it is a shameful lust contrary to the intentions of the One who threw our esteemed Father of Lies out of heaven’s court). Those whose ear you have are our accomplices in the plan of destruction.

I am sorry to hear that those who are defeated have found new spirit in their failure. It is pathetic to see them recover a sense of unity. I trust that the hard-won divisions among their members is not about to be healed just when they look down and out. So discourage their resistance all you can and accuse them of wasting their time. Divide and rule.

I find their praying profoundly irritating. It throws dust in our eyes. So remember that they always listen when we tell them to work harder. Wear them out with initiatives and extra ideas; this will make them too busy to appeal to their Shepherd. We do not understand why, but humility warms their souls. Yet, to us, every flame is a threat, every candle a challenge, and every light a potential revival. Snuff them out.

Similarly, their preaching must be undermined. Clear messages offer shelter and rally the downhearted. Make them angry (which is unattractive), distracted (fixate them on church politics) and fearful of their own people (whisper in their ears words of alarm about their flock giving less and even leaving). The Sacred Record of His ludicrous use of an incorrigible people will soon recede from view.

Lastly, disable their praise. The weak creatures who do the bidding of the Bridegroom find refreshment of spirit when they lift their hearts to the rival throne. They strengthen their souls when they remember that the battle belongs to the Nazarene. So let their closest friends (‘loved ones’ – ugh!) doubt their sanity, impugn their motives, and assure them that the game is over. Allow them to assume that the grass is greener elsewhere (in fact, everywhere else). Even now, many are close to walking away and thereby giving us the full victory we crave. Keep those doors open.

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape

Anglican evangelical minister Jonathan Frais reveals he helped intercept this email.

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