Around 120 people met on a damp Saturday in Cardiff to listen to renowned psychologist Dr Diane Langberg share her deep knowledge of different forms of abuse, grief and on ‘care for the caregiver’.
Dr Langberg has nearly 50 years’ experience working with trauma victims and survivors of different forms of abuse, ranging from sexual and physical abuse; experiences of war; and increasingly, abuse of power in churches.
The conference, hosted by the Soul Care Network of the Wales Leadership Forum at Thornhill Church, Cardiff, focused on understanding how trauma affects Christians and the needs of those who experience it. A brief presentation was also given by Jacquie Wright and Cliff Turner from Church as a Refuge.
In the first session, Dr Langberg spoke about the reality of trauma – which ‘cannot heal unless it’s spoken’. She said that there is nothing in Scripture to suggest that ignoring and not listening to trauma is the right or Godly thing to do. Healing from trauma requires talking (truth telling); tears (the grieving); and it takes time – and courage. And Dr Langberg said silence on the part of others suggests indifference and ‘being complicit’.
Grief was the focus of the second session. She helped hearers to understand that grief is not the enemy. Death is the enemy. Jesus himself grieved and was angry at the effect of death.
Dr Langberg identified the ‘faces’ of grief including denial and shock; its physical impact; anger; hopelessness and despair; and then the beginnings of change and connecting to life again. She said that everyone’s experience of grief is unique and it is not a step-by-step process. Grieving is work, ‘taking a tremendous amount of mental and emotional energy’ but ‘it’s a worthwhile task’, she stressed. And by comforting those who grieve, we are being ‘God with us’.
In the final session, Dr Langberg offered ‘care for caregivers’. Those who are counselling and caring for the grieving will be exposed to suffering; they will require prayer and humility; and they will be doing God’s work for Him.
She exhorted the conference to remember that ‘church’ is a body: Christ is the head and we are the body; and that our first call is to love and be obedient to Him.
For many attendees, it was mentally and emotionally taxing to face head-on the realities of trauma and abuse, particularly in church settings. But it provided valuable insight, challenges and comfort.
One attendee – a trainee psychotherapeutic counsellor – said: ‘I love Diane’s ability to bridge the gap between a realistic understanding of deep suffering through 50 years of clinical knowledge and a church that has often minimised, denied and devalued the psychological and spiritual consequences of trauma and grief. Diane is able to balance wisdom, authority and compassion in such a way that I left this conference feeling both energised and weary for the work ahead.’
She added: ‘I was encouraged by Diane’s reminder that we embody “Jesus, the Traumatised One” when we choose to offer presence, compassion and space to the grieved and traumatised. I am left wondering how the church can step into and support this mission field.’
