For teenagers only | Graham Heaps

(From one who still remembers what it was like to be one.)

What can you, as a teenager, expect from your parents? Much the same as the young Jesus experienced when he was on the verge of adulthood!

The only snapshot Scripture gives us of the growing Jesus is of him at that much misunderstood age — and it reveals that the experience of ‘almost adults’ is the same even in different eras and cultures. Look with me at the closing verses of Luke 2 and you will not only learn what teenagers can expect from their parents, but also what God expects from you in response.

1. What teenagers can expect of their parents.

Mary and Joseph were good parents by any standard. They loved their son and were very concerned when he was missing. They searched for him until they found him (vv.45,46). His mother thought hard about what he said to her and tried to understand his point of view (v,51). More than that, they sought to put God first in their home (v.41) and bring him up in that environment.

And, yet, even these godly parents failed their adolescent son. They overlooked him and took him for granted (vv.43,44). They misunderstood him (vv.48,50). They blamed him for things without any justification (v.48). On top of that they must have seemed over-anxious and neurotic when to him everything seemed straightforward (vv.48,49). Certainly, they were struggling with how to treat their son now he was fast becoming a ‘grown-up’.

That is the kind of thing you can expect from your parents even if they are loving and caring! And if you find it unacceptable, think for a moment how difficult it is to be a parent and to cope with the ever-changing relationship with you as you move fitfully towards maturity. Don’t forget too, that you don’t have a monopoly on inexperience, insecurity or inability to communicate clearly and effectively. Your parents may struggle with those afflictions too! Don’t overlook either that they too can be blind to their selfishness or are struggling with physical and emotional changes or distressed over some important relationship, or just having a bad day. Let’s face it: life is not easy for parents any more than it is for teenagers!

It’s very easy to see and focus on the shortcomings of your parents but it isn’t very productive. It won’t lead to peace or understanding in the household. It is far better to take to heart the other very obvious thing that Luke shows us in his unique snapshot of teenage perfection — namely:

2. What God looks for from teenagers.

Doubtless there are a number of reasons why Luke reports this striking incident of Jesus at 12 (in a society where adulthood was reached around that age!). Yet one of them is certainly to show us what God looks for in adolescence; and it is certainly a very challenging picture. Three things stand out here:

* The first is to behave well when your parents’ eyes are not upon you. Jesus was out of his parents’ sight and influence for more than two whole days, but what was he doing? He was not idling away the time in dubious company, doing bad things. If you are brought up in a strict home, as he was, it is so easy to let rip when the leash is off. That will not only grieve your parents (which is more than embarrassing them), it will grieve the Almighty.

* The second is to have a spirit of submission to them all the time. Into full adulthood, indeed while ever he lived in their home, Jesus obeyed his parents with a good attitude (so much so that even his parents appreciated it — N.B. v.52). And that obedience was marked even after Mary had unjustly criticised him in front of other people, and however his siblings behaved or were treated. He viewed it as part of his larger obedience to his heavenly Father. God looks for you to take the same view.

* The final thing God looks for from you as almost-adult is to seek to learn for yourself all you can about him. Jesus had an insatiable appetite to learn all he could about his heavenly Father. To that end he first listened to those who could teach him and then asked them questions that he might learn more. That experience led not only to an increase in understanding, but an increase in devotion and obedience so that he grew in favour with God. It wasn’t that he was ever out of favour with God. It was simply that as his capacity for understanding became greater, his obedience and devotion became more informed and sophisticated. That could and should be true of you also.

If you find that picture of Jesus, the adolescent, convicting and humbling, remember the best thing of all about it. And what is that? Why, that this picture of perfection in teenage is the picture of the sinner’s substitute and righteousness. This perfect adolescence is imputed to those who trust in Christ. In other words, God reckons that goodness as if it belonged to humbled, believing, sinful teenagers (and parents!). He treats us as if we had lived Jesus’s life (and died his death!). Remember, too, that he lives within those who humbly seek him for mercy and gives them the power to begin to be humble, obedient and God-pleasing as teenagers. And that is possible for you whatever the shortcomings of your parents! That really is good news!