Homegroups: the authentic guide

How to welcome people to your homegroup

Invariably, our first words of welcome as we greet people at our front door are ‘Mind the step!’

This is followed by ‘Don’t be embarrassed: everyone trips and falls inside’. We have an unforgiving doorstep that will catch you out and send you sprawling into the hallway. What a great way to say, ‘Welcome to our home!’ Exaggerated? Maybe; but please don’t miss the point. The welcome begins at the front door.

Perhaps it takes as little as a warm embrace and a smile that says, ‘We’re glad you came tonight’. So how do we make people feel at home?
* Greet people as they arrive.
* Offer a choice of refreshments — teas, coffee and cold drinks.
* Have a seat for everyone.
* Remind people where the toilet is.
* Make sure you speak to everyone.
* Make sure you say goodbye to everyone.

Where

As the word ‘homegroup’ suggests, the best place to hold a group meeting is in the home, where it is easier to create a relaxed atmosphere. Easy chairs and soft lights take a lot of beating. Alternatively, groups may choose to meet elsewhere, from the church hall to the local pub. The venue will depend upon the needs of the group. For instance, a young mums/dads homegroup might choose to meet in the church building, particularly if there are crche facilities available. Wherever you meet, make sure the ambience is right and it is the most appropriate venue for all members of the group.

It is a good idea to hold the homegroup in the same location every time. If this is not practical, keep the number of venues to the minimum and ensure everyone is advised well in advance of where the meetings will be held. If it is possible, hold the homegroup in the homes of those who may find it difficult to attend regularly, because of a disability or finding someone to babysit the children.

Alternatively, can homegroup members babysit on a rota basis or provide help with transport?

When

Traditionally, homegroups meet on a midweek evening between eight and ten o’clock but increasingly the ‘when ’ factor is being built around the working and social demands of the people within the groups. Groups should be encouraged to meet on days and times that best suit their needs. If at all possible, groups should meet on a weekly basis. This helps to build friendship, trust and continuity, which are essential for a healthy homegroup.

Welcoming new people

Visiting someone’s house for the first time can be a daunting experience. The only information you have been given is the house number and name of the road. How should you ensure you minimise their anxiety in finding your home and make them feel welcome throughout the evening?

Before the meeting

* Write or phone in advance to confirm meeting day, time and place.
* Give clear, precise directions to your home; landmarks are a great help, i.e.‘We’re opposite the George and Dragon’.
* As a fun way to say welcome, tell them balloons will be hanging from the front door.
* Advise them where to park or even make sure there is a place directly outside.
* Advise them in advance what you will be studying and, if you are using printed material, make sure they have a copy before the meeting.
* Inform the other group members that you have new people joining, their names and any other helpful information. (For example, they are married with two teenagers.)

On arrival

* Make them feel welcome and show them that you are pleased they have come along.
* Tell them, and I would also suggest show them, where the toilet is.
* Introduce them to the other members of the homegroup.
* Avoid ‘in’ talk.
* Include them in conversations.

During the meeting

* Avoid having conversations that criticise the church.
For someone attending the group for the first time and who is possibly new to your church, this is not the most edifying way to make them feel at home. First impressions tend to be lasting impressions.
* Don’t presume they will want to take part. Even the most seasoned Christians attending a group for the first time may be slightly reluctant to contribute.
* Don’t ask personal or direct questions that may embarrass or cause offence. Even seemingly innocent questions such as, ‘Why have you moved to this area?’ could make them feel uncomfortable. It is far better to ask open-ended questions that invite them to share what they want.

After the meeting

* Encourage your group to include them in conversations at the end of the evening.
* Contact them during the week and say it was good they have joined the group and you look forward to seeing them again.

Just a thought

Most of us have a tale to tell of a situation or place where we felt uncomfortable or were embarrassed and had one of those ‘sweaty palm’ moments. The event and place are usually etched deep into our memories, never to be forgotten. It is all too easy to overlook the needs of others; we should make sure our homegroups are places which people want to return to.

Good timekeeping

As far as possible practise good timekeeping, avoid the trap of having a ‘rolling start’ homegroup and try to instill best practice with the meeting starting at a set time. This encourages good stewardship that will help prevent the ‘straggler syndrome’, where you are never quite sure if everyone has arrived and when to begin. Equally, it is good to have a regular finishing time. Anyone who needs to get away promptly will be able to do so. A helpful guideline is to practise the two-hour rule, from start to finish. Everything, from coffee and chat to the Bible study, should fit comfortably into two hours, with time to spare.

If the meeting lasts longer, it may be a sign of poor time management rather than a night of fervent prayer! Good timekeeping encourages people to come; poor timekeeping can be a reason to stop attending.

In a nutshell

* A warm greeting at the front door, the children in bed and the dog asleep all help to say, ‘It is good to see you’.
* Attending a homegroup for the first time can be daunting. Make sure you turn it into a positive experience.
* Make sure everyone knows when and where the group will be held.
* Good timekeeping encourages people to come; poor timekeeping can be a reason to stop attending.
* If you have pet(s) that roam the house always make sure the people in your homegroup are comfortable with this. If they are not, you may be advised to put the pet(s) in another room during the meeting.

This article is an edited extract from Homegroups: the Authentic Guide by Steve and Mandy Briars, published by Authentic Media (ISBN 1 85078 654 2, price £6.99). The authors have been homegroup leaders for 25 years and lead the homegroup ministry in a large Baptist church in Aylesbury. Please also visit http://www.homegroups.org.uk.