Doing church: leaving the family behind?

I’m not a fan of the phrase ‘doing church’, but, for want of a better phrase, can I ask how you ‘do’ church?

There appears to be a new trend, especially in cities, for churches to be structured around ‘congregations’ rather than the church family. Many churches have decided to run a Sunday service designed exclusively for one age group or another; whether for students, young people, or, as I saw recently, just for those of Asian origin.

Those not included in the prime target audience are discouraged from coming, or told to look elsewhere. For example, a friend of mine attended a church while at university where adults and families have been strongly discouraged from attending the evening student service. Likewise, he was told not to attend the morning service as that is for families and not for him. To encourage this, the evening sermon was an exact replica of the mornings.

The benefits

There are obviously benefits to running church services around the concept of ‘congregations’. The service can be tailored to a particular style and the preacher’s application become specific. And when it comes to evangelism, inviting a student to an all-student service can be a real bonus. The leadership decisions are also much simpler; a group of fresh-faced students, with minimal life experience is obviously far more attractive than a church including mature older Christians who may (rightly) oppose various judgement calls. Pastoral issue are less problematic too — as all are of one age, and facing one common situation (often university), you are spared the diverse problems that a family of believers would experience.

The problem

However, ‘congregations’ are causing a major problem, especially in the student world. While I was at university, if I had not initiated meeting up with a post-graduate student to read the Bible together I would not have had any contact with Christians over the age of 22. When it came to seeking advice I was fortunate for having godly, wise and supportive parents to help me, but not all students are in the position. Many are left with only the minister and the assistants to give them Christian advice. When a congregation is 200-strong, pastoral or discipleship input on a personal and substantial nature is obviously minimal.

Prayer partnership is also restricted to peers. Being part of the family of God requires a desire to assist our brothers and sisters in Christ through prayer. Some of the greatest ‘prayer warriors’ I know are ladies in their late 70s or 80s. By restricting students’ contact with these people is to deprive them of a blessed prayer partnership.

Leaders of congregations that leave students to fend for themselves are causing young Christians to be stunted in their growth. Fending for themselves has benefits, particularly when it comes to leading the Christian Union in evangelism for example, but to be left alone within the church context is neither helpful nor biblical. With little support, advice, guidance and rebuke, students miss out on one of the great blessings God has given them when allowing them to be part of his church. The family of God needs to remain a family if we are to see students and young people grow as they ought.

The work of the Christian Unions can only go so far. Their ministry of evangelism and discipleship is unique to the university scene — long may it continue. But if CUs are to continue, their work needs the support of churches. Where this is lacking, the effort of the CU is significantly hampered. Churches need to play their part, not by doing the work that the CU is best placed to do, but by providing prayer, discipleship and pastoral support.

The CU where I was a member has seen a significant number of students commit their lives to Christ this year. It has been fantastic to see this. Almost all are now committed to various churches around the city, and we really praise God for that. However, I fear for those who are now attending the student congregations. When they make the transition to the working world and find a new church, will they face a major church-culture shock? Surely as part of our discipling of new Christians, we should be introducing them to brothers and sisters in Christ of all ages and backgrounds? Is it not our responsibility to celebrate the true meaning of church, and enjoy the partnership and oneness that is described in Ephesians 2? Jew and Gentile, ‘Rah’ and ‘Chav’, blue hair and blue rinse meeting together — this is when God’s glory in Christ is displayed (according to Ephesians 2). As Graham Beynon says in his excellent book on church community, ‘The more differences that are represented (at church), the more the unity of the gospel shines out’ .

Disturbing

What I find disturbing is the apparent arrogance for a church to say: ‘We don’t need other ages or races in our church; we are OK without you’. This is what is meant when other believers are not welcomed into a service.

The message in 1 Corinthians 12 is that we do need each other. The Spirit unifies us and who are we to divide what he has brought together? In fact, as David Jackman says, the uniting of the church is one of the major means of our becoming more like Christ. This isn’t to say that small groups or fellowship groups aren’t useful for specific age groups or situations — they are very helpful. However, we cannot defy what the Spirit has joined together by ceasing to meet together as a true family. There are so many things that the New Testament tells us to do, and do for each other, that we cannot presume to be OK if we disregard being a united family.

A call for action

We know from today’s society how broken families can cause all sorts of problems to the people involved. It is no different in the church. God has given us a family of believers that we are a part of, and we must not neglect. From a student perspective, may I plead with church leaders considering running an exclusive student congregation to think again? Please do not cause further dispersing of God’s family.

And for students preparing to leave for your university or college career — choose your church carefully. Joining a church that is faithful to solid Bible teaching is paramount, but you need to consider how being a member of a broad church family can help your personal spiritual growth, too.

While a student congregation can be a lot of fun as you rub shoulders with all your mates week in and week out, in the words of a fellow student, ‘It will leave you short of what you could have grown to be’. Be part of a church as God designed it, a family that will support, care for and love you, and then, in turn, you can provide these things for those who are older and need our support. Hugo Charteris said recently: ‘There is nothing more essential than the gathering together of God’s people — the church family’. He is right. Please do not leave the church family behind, but let’s embrace and enjoy God’s gift, the church family, whatever ups and downs it may bring.

Jonathan Carswell,
youth pastor, Hamilton Road Baptist Church, Bangor, Northern Ireland