Monthly youth leaders column

Nothing excites a youth worker more than receiving support from unexpected quarters. It's too easy to feel that you are plugging away in isolation and no one knows or cares what is going on. So youth leaders let your leaders and parents know how they can support you. You can reproduce this in a church magazine, or put it on the notice board. Let people know the things they can do to help the leaders sleep at night.

Parents that warm a youthworker's heart...

...go the extra mile

These Christian parents go out of their way to bring other young people as well as their own. They literally go the extra mile (or six) to pick up non-Christian friends and other fringe group members, such as the children of nominal Christians. It shows their priorities are gospel ones, not self-centred. Some amazing parents may even ask who they can pick up and drop off. Youth leaders beware of issues such as insurance and police checks.

...know the agenda

These parents know that youth and children's work is much more than babysitting. When the programme changes they don't ask what they're supposed to do with their child instead of youth club. They realise that you're not there just to provide entertainment so that they can have a night off. They share with you the aims of spreading the gospel. If this is not the reality you know, why not offer parents an evening to talk about it.

...offer practical help

We know how many evenings youth and children's work takes. That could cost a small fortune in baby-sitting. Some Christian parents realise this and offer baby-sitting so that couples can serve together. Other parents notice how much effort goes into setting up beforehand and clearing away afterwards and offer to do this. There's washing up, organising holiday club resources, delivering flyers, doing drama, playing a musical instrument, going to the supermarket - and that's not an exhaustive list. Practical help comes in many forms.

...ask about the teaching

That is Christian parents that are interested in what their children learn on Friday night or Sunday morning. Then they can follow it up over the meal table, in general conversation or in family prayers. These parents provide a useful check giving youth leaders another form of accountability. They can act as a sounding board so that you can see where the Bible teaching has a good impact on the children and young people. They may be able to identify areas of concern so that the teaching can address it.

...are realistic and honest

Let's get rid of the rose-tinted spectacles and be real. Christian parents who are honest about their children's behaviour are great. They will offer advice rather than criticism when you've been looking after them. These parents listen with an open ear and are realistic about what goes on when their children are out of their sight. They take discipline seriously and seek even in this area to serve the best purposes of the group their child is in whatever the age group.

...count the cost

Young people chop and change. Enthusiasm waxes and wanes. So when the teenagers pull out of a trip or a weekend away at the last minute, how do the Christian parents react? Those who want to encourage the youth leaders realise the work and cost that has already gone in. They don't ask for their money back (or the deposit at least). The extra mile is parents that don't ask for recompense when they provide food, a video, transport and all the rest. They are happy and generous hosts. Others may even offer to put money directly into the youth funds. Wow! Don't by any means expect this, nobody should end up out of pocket, least of all the parents who all do so much already. It's just fantastic when it happens.

...plan ahead

Christian parents who ask ahead so that they can arrange their holidays around summer camp, weekends away or holiday club. This frees up their children and young people to join in and sometimes allows the parents themselves to offer concrete help; instead of a vague 'I may help if I'm around'. (If you are a parent, never, ever use this phrase!)

...pray

Of course they do. They pray for their children, for other children, for the leaders and helpers, for the programme, for the socials, for personal relationships, for the work of the gospel, and for individuals by name. Feed these parents with information and they become the praying support base for the whole youth and children's ministry.

Parents, love your youth leaders. Youth leaders, don't moan about the parents. Bringing children and young people up in the knowledge of the Lord is hard work and long term. It's not just the youth leader's responsibility, but they are there to help. Make the relationship a gospel partnership all the way.

My thanks to the youthwork colleague who provided this idea; I trust it is helpful for your situation.

Parents, love your youth leader!