Monthly youth leaders column

Game n. adj. & v. l n 1 a form or spell of play or sport esp. a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength or luck.

I was excited to read David Porter's article about The Lord of the Rings games in EN last month. I enjoy playing board games a great deal, perhaps I have German ancestry. In particular, I can assure readers that The Lord of the Rings Risk is excellent fun and a must-have for those who enjoy the original game.

There are many good things about board games that bear mention. When playing a board game you have to talk to each other, as opposed to grunting as you remain glued to a screen. Invariably you face your opponent rather than slouching next to them on the sofa. Board games have to be played in the light, semi-darkness does not work. All this of course leads to something that is quite rare these days - conversation.

Conversation n. 1 the informal exchange of ideas, information, etc. by spoken words.

There are, I'm sure, many good web sites that express Christian ideas and even explain the gospel. There are online churches and Christian 'chat-rooms'. I must confess I haven't checked any of this out because I'm too much of a Luddite. Many youth leaders I know use texts to reach their young people. I know several who text encouraging verses and comments at least once a week. Again, I'm afraid, not I. My mobile phone weighs in at just under one brick (its weight is an anti-theft device); it only texts in capitals, which is embarrassing; and it has a rather temperamental approach to working.

My approach is more old-fashioned. It involves being in the same place as the young people, at the same time. It means being prepared to enter their world. It relies on being in a well-lit room face to face with them. It involves talking and the dying art of conversation.

When did you last have a chat with your youth group? When did you last talk to an individual at length? Please realise that swapping notes about a film, talking about Eastenders (after all 'everybody's talking about it' ... except me) or comparing football scores does not count. While these things fit the definition of a conversation they are not what we are aiming at.

When was the last time you fell into talking about something of real weight, something of substance? When did you last tackle the issues of abortion or euthanasia? When did marriage, singleness, sexuality and relationships come up in the conversation? When did the Bible crop up naturally or a gospel outline? You may be feeling smug because you have tackled one or all of these in a youth group session recently, so let's put it a different way. Is all your conversation with the young people seasoned with salt (Colossians 4.6)?

Atmosphere n. 2 a the pervading tone or mood of a place or situation.

Good conversation needs to be cultivated. This is true for our relationships with other Christians, young people and not-yet-Christians. Do you timetable in occasions when there are opportunities to talk? If we leave this to chance it will probably not happen. Are there enough low key events in your youth group social calendar to develop good relationships? Is the atmosphere at those events conducive to conversation? For example, kicking a footie around every Friday night is probably not. None of the lads want to be pulled away from that to talk!

So be imaginative and introduce different activities that give rise to conversation. Board games are a good example, as are eating together, a walk, or a lads or lasses only night. You could go one step further and meet regularly with a small group to talk.

This could be organised around a focus, such as a book, film or piece of music. Or it could be a natural spin off from a Bible study group. There are other times to look out for. Driving places in the car can provide good times to talk. So don't see the Friday night drop off as a chore, rather as an opportunity.

All this might look a bit like engineering, a bit too 'Big Brother'. But Christian conversations don't just happen. In our society we are especially good at being trivial and shallow. So don't settle for a quick hello and goodbye. Make sure that you are drawing the young people in. Look for ways to dig deeper in conversation. Practice ways of applying the Bible to the things you talk about. Take hold of the times together by the scruff of the neck and bring them round to something meaningful.

Communicate, communicate!

Roger Fawcett