I wonder why...?

Ian Stillman was released from prison in India last December following conviction on false charges. For many years Ian, deaf and disabled himself, has worked among the deaf in India. This interview is continued from last month.

JS: After Terry Waite was released from his terrible ordeal, he spoke of having received a postcard picturing John Bunyan in gaol and of how this had inspired him to carry on. Was there anything in particular that you received from a Christian source that gave you special encouragement?

IS: Receiving such a large quantity of letters from so many people was very encouraging and helped to pass the time. I couldn't always reply to individuals but many people wrote on a regular basis and I am starting to meet them now I am free. I received photos, cards, verses and psalms of encouragement. People sent all sorts of things by post. There were sweets, cup-a-soups, cereal bars, gloves, socks, small breakfast cereal packets, pictures, pens and many things which did reach me.

I was greatly encouraged by the example of God's people who faced imprisonment. Many pointed out to me the example of Joseph in the Old Testament - there are similarities and differences. Joseph had no family support while in prison, but he learned a local language, whereas I didn't! Like Joseph I was held in prison for two years and tried to make the best use of the time and opportunities in prison. Joseph then went on to be a major influence in many people's lives. As for me - only time will tell!

JS: I know you are becoming aware of just how high a profile your situation received in the British media. How are you coping with all the attention you've received since your return? I hear you turned down an offer to appear on Richard and Judy! How do you decide which invitations to take up?

IS: It was quite overwhelming and amazing, especially at first. Just walking around Romsey or going in for a coffee in my sister's bookshop, so many people came up to me and said: 'Well done', or 'It's good to see you', or they tell me that they signed the petition or prayed for us. I was so surprised by the media attention as well. Mostly the story has been continued by the media that have carried it all the way - local media in particular. Other larger agencies and newspapers have also carried it since I was released.

The family have tended to favour the media that have always carried the story and presented it in an intelligent and serious way. I understand though that this is not always the case. One researcher rang up and asked my sister how long I had been blind, and another radio researcher asked very seriously if I was a fan of Radio 4 - she had to explain that deafness and radio listening do not go together! We cannot take up all the invitations and we haven't turned down any as such. It's just we haven't had time to do everything yet!

JS: Has your experience changed any of your basic beliefs, priorities or assumptions? If so, how? What have you learnt so far spiritually from it all?

IS: I have felt that perhaps I have underestimated what deaf people need in terms of preparation for the outside world. I used to say to the trainees at Nambikkai that they just needed a positive attitude and good self-confidence to get on in a hearing world. My experience has made me rethink this. What happened to me could happen to anyone and if I got stuck in the system with my ability to speak and my education, how much more difficult would it be for the average Indian deaf person? It's frightening. If I am allowed back to India again I would not travel alone at night again. I would make sure I was with someone else, which is something I had not felt the need of before my arrest. But it is difficult to say how much my thinking has really changed. It is still very early days yet. It has shown me that you never know what is around the corner.

JS: You've had plenty of time to think about it, but are you able to discern anything yet about what the Lord's purposes might be in having brought you through this dreadful experience?

IS: Once again it is very early days yet and I am still trying to come to terms with many aspects of my experience. Concerning some things we may never know why they happen. But, from a legal point of view, I wonder why my case went right through to the highest court of the land and was then refused leave to appeal. Perhaps it could still be a test case for Indian law - who knows? If it prevents this kind of thing ever happening to anyone else then that would be good. Perhaps, too, it will make the UK government revise their procedures for monitoring the treatment of disabled UK prisoners abroad. Such an occurrence must never happen again.

JS: Clearly, you cannot return to India at present. Would you still want to if you could? What is the immediate future of the work at Nambikkai - and Sue's work with DeafChild India?

IS: Yes, I would like to return, though many people think I am mad to want to. But I have lived and worked in India for 30 years and I do not think that my work there is finished. I do not know when and if it will be possible but it is in God's hands. I described it to another interviewer as being like a sculpture that is half finished and needs completing. Thanks to Sue's younger sister, Shiromani, Nambikkai Foundation has been able to carry on in good hands, although it has been a very difficult time for them. The biggest problem we face is lack of qualified people to work with the adult deaf. Had the situation been otherwise it would be easier to hand over the reins into other capable hands.

We would like to find a couple (not necessarily from the UK or India) who might be interested in going out to India for a short-term period, say, six to 12 months, who would like to help out in running the project for a while.

DeafChild India has gone from strength to strength in Chennai and they have been able to expand their programmes. Sue has been able to have meetings with Deafax in Reading since she has been here. Our commitment to the work in India puts pressure on the family. It is not possible to just walk away from it and leave it. But by implication that means that for some time we will be apart. I must be here for the time being and Sue will spend some time in India and then come back to the UK. All four of us have already endured separation and it does take its toll on the family.

JS: Finally, Ian, I have been very aware that your situation seems to have united Christians from so many different backgrounds in prayer and practical support. Have you any particular message for them? What should we be praying for you and the family at the present time? What do you consider your greatest ongoing needs?

IS: I would like to say thank you to all for the great prayer support from so many different churches around the world. There are incredible numbers of people who have supported us for so long and it is great to have the chance to try to say thank you via the EN pages. We have a great sense of gratitude to all concerned. It is difficult knowing that you can't really thank people as you would like to, especially at the moment when there is so much else that we have to sort out and decide.

We all definitely need prayer as a family for direction and guidance. The last two years has taken its toll on all four of us in so many different ways. Realistically, I am told that it will take a while to fully recover and that there are several steps to recovery. It is not something you can just shake off from one day to the next.

The medical needs are ongoing. I am finding it very difficult to sleep and I have a lot of pain in the stump of my amputated leg. Of course, if I don't sleep, it's difficult to cope with the next day, especially if I have appointments or interviews to do.

I am hoping to get a new leg soon that will enable me to be more active and more mobile. While in the UK I have quite a lot of ideas and projects that I would like to put down on paper. I would also like to travel around and meet more people, including those involved in deaf work in the UK and Europe and perhaps get more inspiration for meeting the needs of the deaf in India. Whether I am allowed back or not, I need to be based here for perhaps two years. This will give me time to implement some of my ideas. But it means that Sue and Anita will need to travel fairly frequently between the UK and India, and I will need the necessary resources and facilities to set up a base here.

Second part of an interview with Ian Stillman

Jonathan Stephen