How to save your homegroup

Other housegroups in the church were flourishing, but this one wasn't. In previous years it had gone quite well, but the winter evenings saw fewer and fewer people making the effort.
So the pastor telephoned as many of the group as possible. 'Come along this week. Let's talk about what's gone wrong. I want to listen to your point of view.' They came, and it turned into a very helpful time. Here are some of the pitfalls which were identified as leading to the group's demise.

Leadership

For various reasons the leadership/ pastoral oversight of the group had had to be shared between two elders. One would come when the other couldn't. It was nobody's fault but it just didn't help. (Leadership is one of the most important elements of a small group.) It had led to a lack of continuity, which was not very encouraging for others. It made the group feel unimportant. If the leadership do not (or are unable) to give a housegroup thought, planning and prayer, it is no wonder that it suffers. That is true for any housegroup. How about yours?

Timing

The housegroup was scheduled to meet at 7.45pm. That's when all the other housegroups kicked off. But half the people involved in this group had children, and it was not always easy to get the evening meal, get them bathed and to bed, get yourself ready and be there for 7.45pm. Why couldn't the group start at 8.15pm or even 8.30pm and go on for half an hour later? Why not indeed? Who wants to turn up half an hour late all the time when the rest of the group are well into things? Some-times it is a simple thing like timing which is so easy to overlook, but which is actually so crucial to the viability of the group. Perhaps your group is fine, but it may be that timing is a matter that needs to be aired. Of course, it may not be possible to satisfy everyone. There is always someone who would prefer to have the housegroup at 4.30 on Monday afternoon! But at least we can plan to accommodate the majority's view.

Purpose

In talking, it became clear that different people had different ideas of what the group was meant to achieve. The group needed to clarify its purpose. A man in another group once complained: 'I came here to study the Bible, not to spill my guts out to all and sundry.' He had never been told that part of the purpose for forming the housegroup was to build relationships. Deepening open fellowship between people is not something that can be forced, but the group needs to be clear what it is about Bible study, prayer and fellowship.

Stability

There had been too much change over the past year in the group. Some members had been siphoned off to form a new housegroup elsewhere. Others had been taken the year before. The venue for the group had been changed six months previously. The new venue was in a part of the town where it was not easy to find a parking space at night. 'Sometimes, I've come, couldn't park, and driven home.' said one member.
All this meant that the spirit of the group had suffered. Some of the members were suffering financial trouble, others had endured times of unemployment and illness and it was not easy to cope. The group needed stability for more reasons than one. Sometimes, when the majority of a group are facing difficulties and having trouble coping at a personal level, extra support must be somehow pumped into the group.

Continuity

Then they all agreed that once some folk do not turn up for a couple of weeks it discourages others. Sporadic attendance is no good. You come along and share a prayer need with the people, but the next time you come those members are not there and it is almost a completely different group. You may have had a great answer to prayer, but you can't rejoice together in the same way when those who prayed for you are not there, and those that are there do not know what you are talking about! So that led back to the old lesson of personal discipline. Once the rot of non-attendance sets in with one or two, it so easily rubs off on others.
Once these points were aired, it became apparent why the demise had occurred. But it was encouraging that, somehow the group still felt very much a family, and they decided to seek to take steps to get back on track. 'Perhaps we need a social time together too, just to get to know one another again!', 'Let's plan what we are going to do until the summer holiday period', 'Let's produce a little programme card for the housegroup which we can give to encourage the others to come', '... Let's consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds. Let's not give up meeting together...' (Hebrews 10.24-25)

Ideas for revitalising a housegroup

Leadership

Timing

Purpose

Stability

Continuity

JEB

Dr John Benton

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