A Report on Cohabitation or Marriage

All actions have consequences, and cohabitation is no exception. This extract is taken from A report on cohabitation or marriage, where outlines from available scientific journals show the real consequences of this increasingly common way of living.

Cohabitation and divorce

One of the main arguments in favour of couples living together before marriage is that it allows them a trial period in which to confirm their compatibility and commitment and so avoid an unhappy marriage.

These so-called 'trial marriages' are supposed to reduce the likelihood of future divorce. Yet an examination of the facts shows the converse to be true. Data from the General Household Survey (1993) shows that a couple who cohabit before marriage are, on average, twice as likely to divorce as a couple who do not cohabit before marriage.

For example, among women aged between 40 and 50 who married when they were in their early 20s (20-24) and who cohabited before marriage, 39% were divorced, compared with 21% of those who did not. Taking all age groups, the ratio of divorce between couples who premaritally cohabited and couples who did not cohabit, is 1.8 to one, showing an 80% greater likelihood of divorce among those who cohabited before marriage.

Information collected by the General Household Survey allows divorce rates by duration of marriage to be estimated for couples in their first marriage. From this data the probability of a marriage ending in divorce or separation can be calculated for both those who cohabited premaritally and those who did not. The higher probability of marital breakdown among those who cohabited before their marriage is clearly illustrated in figure 1.

According to an article in Population Trends the results are clear cut: 'For every duration of marriage, the cumulative proportions of marriages which had broken down are higher among marriages in which there was premarital cohabitation than among the marriages in which there was no premarital cohabitation'.

Among those divorced, the prevalence of cohabiting before a second marriage has always been higher than before a first marriage. The older a man or woman, the greater the proportion who cohabit premaritally before their second marriage. The idea that premarital cohabitation reduces the likelihood of an unhappy marriage is false.

Smoking during pregnancy

Investigations into smoking during pregnancy show a large difference in smoking behaviour with the proportion of cohabiting and single mothers who smoke being more than double that of married mothers. What is significant is that the smoking behaviour of cohabiting mothers (who have partners) resembles that of single mothers (who do not have partners) rather than that of married mothers. This suggests that cohabiting mothers have more in common with single mothers than their married counterparts. So why do so many cohabiting mothers smoke during pregnancy?

An important contributing factor is likely to be the stress and insecurity they feel in their relationship. It is predictable, then, that the babies of cohabiting mothers are more likely to be classified as low birthweight (under 2,500 grammes) than babies born to married mothers (8.8% and 6.8% respectively).

Infant mortality

Infant mortality (the death of a baby in the first year of life) is widely recognised as one of the best indicators of infant health in a community. National figures on infant mortality for the period 1988 to 1990 show wide variations in death rates between babies born inside and outside marriage. Parents who are not married but give the same address when they registered the baby are assumed to be in a cohabiting relationship. The death rate for babies born to parents in a cohabiting relationship (9.8 per 1,000 live births) is 35% higher than that of babies born to married parents (7.3 per 1,000 live births). The infant mortality rates for babies born to single mothers (13.1) is even higher. This data suggests that babies born to cohabiting and single parents are at greater risk of ill-health than babies born within marriage.

Sexual behaviour

The National Survey of Sexual Behaviour, which collected data from a random sample of nearly 19,000 representatives of British society, is the largest survey of sexual behaviour conducted in the UK.

Patterns of sexual behaviour in the five years up to 1996 for men and women by marital status are described in figures 2 and 3. They show the proportion of men and women who have been monogamous (one sexual partner during the last five years), serially monogamous (a new sexual relationship after another has finished) or have had concurrent sexual partners (a new sexual relationship during an existing one). The figures show that married people are far more likely to be monogamous than the other marital groups. Well over 90% of married women have been monogamous during the last five years, compared to around 60% of women who were cohabiting.

Among married men, around 90% have been monogamous, compared with 43% of cohabiting men. Moreover, the patterns of sexual behaviour of cohabiting men and women closely resembles that of divorced and single people. According to Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyle, 'The influence of living with a partner as a measure of commitment to a relationship is unclear, since those who are cohabiting show patterns that are more like those who are single, divorced or separated than those who are married'. These findings indicate a major difference in commitment between married and cohabiting couples. Undeniably, the majority of cohabiting relationships are associated with a pattern of behaviour that lacks commitment to one sexual partner. The vast majority of married couples, on the other hand, have been faithful to their marriage partners - disproving the assertion often made that most married people are having affairs.

Abortion

It is not well known that cohabiting is associated with high rates of legal abortion. Figure 4 shows the proportion of women reporting an abortion in the last five years.

Abortion is least common among the widowed (1.2%) and married (2.6%); single women reported higher rates (7.3%), but the highest rates were among cohabiting women (10.2%). This finding is consistent with the less monogamous lifestyles of those who cohabit. It appears that while they are prepared to live together in a sexual relationship, they are less committed to raising a family together.

Venereal disease

We have already seen that cohabiting is often associated with multiple sexual partners. It is usually accepted that attendance at special treatment disease clinics is a proxy measure for the incidence of venereal disease. The national survey shows that 6.3% of cohabiting women have attended such a clinic in the last five years compared with 1.1% of married women, suggesting that cohabiting women have higher rates of venereal disease.

Neurotic disorders

A large national survey of mental illness was commissioned by the Department of Health. The aim was to provide information about the prevalence of psychiatric problems among adults aged between 16 and 64, in Great Britain.

The level of neurotic symptoms in society was measured by a well-validated questionnaire called the Clinical Interview Schedule. The Schedule is made up of 14 sections, each covering a particular area of neurotic symptoms, such as worry, irritability, depression and anxiety. The overall threshold for significant psychiatric illness was a score of 12. Information for the survey was collected by 200 trained interviewers visiting a scientifically-chosen sample of 10,000 British households. Published in 1995, the findings of the survey showed large and significant differences in neurotic behaviour between married, cohabiting and single groups. The overall prevalence of neurotic symptoms, as measured by the Interview Schedule, is shown in figure 5.

The first point is that women, in general, have higher rates of neurotic illness than men. There is a large difference between married (15%) and cohabiting (24%) women.

Among the men, on the other hand, there is no difference between those who are married and those who cohabit. Figure 6 shows anxiety and depressive disorders by marital status. Cohabiting women (133 per 1,000) again have much higher rates than married women (86 per 1,000), whereas cohabiting men (64 per 1,000) have only slightly more anxiety and depression than their married counterparts (51 per 1,000).

A close examination of the data presented in Table A shows that cohabiting women are more irritable, worried and depressed than married women. There is, however, no difference between married and cohabiting men in these symptoms. Note the large difference in irritability between men (18%) and women (35%) who cohabit.

It is significant that cohabiting women have a much worse neurotic profile than cohabiting men. The data suggest that the mental well-being of women is adversely affected by a cohabiting arrangement, whereas the mental well-being of men is hardly affected at all. Many women feel unhappy about a sexual arrangement that lacks permanence. It seems likely that women are worried by the possibility that they may become pregnant, and then face the consequences with a man who is not their husband and has made no life-long commitment to the relationship.

Those who cohabit lose by not exchanging vows in accordance with the pattern designed for us by God. Those who cohabit before marriage do themselves and their partners a disservice. They run the risk of losing their self-respect and becoming devalued as human beings. It is far better for a couple who are in love to wait until they have made their marriage vows before they live together. Real love is not selfish but patient and will be prepared to wait. While recognising that some couples have lived in a stable cohabiting relationship for many years, we urge those involved to re-examine their relationship in the light of biblical truth. We know that the God who instituted marriage is also the God of grace who can forgive and restore all who come to him.

This is an extract from A Report on Cohabitation or Marriage by Ted Williams and Declan Flanagan, recently published by Belmont House Publishing (http://www.belmonthouse.co.uk), and is used by permission.

Bibliography

1. Trends in marriage and cohabitation: the decline in marriage and the changing pattern of living in partnership, John Haskey. Population Trends 80; OPCS. HMSO (London, 1995).

2. General Household Survey 1993 (Series GHS No.24); OPCS. HMSO (London, 1995).

3. Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles. Blackwell Scientific Publications (Oxford, 1994); Chapter 5 by Anne Johnson and Jane Wadsworth.

4. Premarital cohabitation and the probability of subsequent divorce: Analysis using new data from the General Household Survey, John Haskey. Population Trends 68, OPCS. HMSO (London, 1992).

5. Smoking prevalence among school children and pregnant women. Health in Croydon 1994/5 - The Annual Report of the Director of Public Health.

6. Mortality statistics 1991 - perinatal and infant: social and biological factors (Series DH3 No. 25), OPCS. HMSO (London, 1993).

7. Surveys of Psychiatric Morbidity in Great Britain: Report 1. The prevalence of psychiatric morbidity among adults living in private households. OPCS. HMSO (London, 1995).

Truth and consequences - what cohabitation is really doing to people