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Just the two of us?

Help and strength in the struggle to conceive

Infertility?

JUST THE TWO OF US?
Help and strength in the struggle to conceive
By E. Margesson and S. McGowan
IVP. 190 pages. £7.99
ISBN 978-1-84474-475-6

This is not another self-help book, nor a journey through one person’s experiences of infertility. No matter where you find yourself on the fertility roller coaster, this book is well worth reading.

It combines short extracts from women and, very helpfully, men, who share their experiences of fertility problems; a brief look at what the professionals can do to help couples with problems; and, its real strength, an exploration of being a Christian in this often painful circumstance.

Looking at the question ‘Where is God in all the pain?’ and how to see God’s grace in every part of the journey of infertility is so lovingly presented. The pain is not ignored, but having a heavenly perspective on life is explored. The honesty of the comments made by people interviewed by the authors is at times very moving.

Wonderfully, the authors remember that secondary fertility problems, singleness and loss of children through miscarriage and stillbirth are hugely painful. The sufferers need God’s love to be poured out on them and the knowledge of his sovereignty clung to.

Another incredibly helpful short section should be read by everyone in a church, as it addresses how unhelpful certain comments can be for friends who face fertility issues. Also, how to handle birth / pregnancy announcements, particularly in churches where there is a great deal of emphasis upon families with children.

If you are looking for a definitive answer to ethical issues, then the reader is referred to other material written by Christian medics. Many find that their ethical views are thrown up in the air when one is shown the hope of a procedure which will ‘solve’ the conception problem. The authors suggest that infertility should be discussed in marriage preparation classes. Another incredibly wise gem tucked away here.

This should be compulsory reading for church leaders, particularly those with children who often have no concept of the pain of having empty arms.

And if, like me, you have had to bite your tongue pretty much off as another painful comment comes your way, then get two copies: one to read and keep, and another to highlight and lend to your friend when you think your tears are going to choke you while they give comfort worthy of Job’s friends.

Ruth Woodcraft,
Hambro Road Baptist Church, Streatham, London