Facing grief

Stiff upper lip?

FACING GRIEF
Counsel for mourners
By John Flavel
Banner of Truth. 122 pages. £5.00
ISBN 978-1-84871-069-6

This is a book for grieving Christians by a Christian acquainted with grief. John Flavel knows his subject personally — he lost both parents to the plague, three wives and a child.

It’s a practical exposition of Luke 7.13, where Jesus’s heart goes out to the widow of Nain and he says to her: ‘Don’t cry’, and argues for moderate grief. He doesn’t want people swallowed up by grief, but, to our modern way of thinking (which could do with some Puritan help), it could seem that he doesn’t want people to grieve at all.

It’s a worthy style of writing, as you’d expect from the Puritans, and it’s direct and clearly structured. Theologically, it’s in my world; pastorally, it’s on a different planet. It claims to give comfort. More likely it gives a huge and jaw-dropping challenge to our modern day society where worldly thinking and priorities have invaded the church.

It pays to read Facing Grief slowly and let it sink in and I’d gladly recommend it to someone who was interested in the subject. In a world where life has become a god, to see death in the context of God’s greater things is good and refreshing. But (and it’s a significant ‘but’) I’d be careful who you gave this to. To be given this book when in the pain of recent loss could well be pastorally disastrous. When asked to review it, I gladly accepted, having a friend who loves the Puritans and has recently been bereaved. But I won’t be giving her Facing Grief just yet. In six months’ time maybe, but not now. Things are just too raw.

So, if you want your thinking challenged, Facing Grief is a classic. But be very careful who you give it to, and when.

Phil Moon,
vicar of Bishop Hannington Church, Hove

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