Monthly arts and media column

Channel 4’s Property Ladder is compulsive watching because of its ever-present promise of lots of cash for the most hapless of property developers.

The format on the programme has remained the same throughout all six series aired since 2001.

A couple buys a property with the view to develop it in some way and then sells it on for a substantial profit. They budget naively for the build costs, blithely describe the work that they intend to do themselves and then spend months attempting to realise their own ridiculous ideas, before reverting to the suggestions that presenter and successful developer Sarah Beeny made back at the beginning of the project.

New morality

This is interesting TV because of the makeover appeal of the programme and its confirmation of the new morality. There are experts among us, this morality says. We should and must listen to them and follow them because they have made a lot of money doing exactly this.

Sarah Beeny is not the only one: Simon Cowell of X Factor and Peter Lewis of Dragon’s Den are further examples of people who are respected and idolised because of their ability to make money. You can say what you like about them, the modern thinking goes, but, at the end of the day, they’ve succeeded in the way that everybody wants to. So that demands respect. You’re an idiot if you ignore them.

Cautionary tale

So it follows that each episode of the Property Ladder series plays out as a modern cautionary tale. If you listen to the advice of the wealthy and successful expert, Sarah Beeny, you will succeed in your ambitions to make pots of cash. If you ignore her, you will go horribly wrong and end up in debt, looking selfish and silly. The final nail in the coffin of the obnoxiously ignorant developer is the voice-over as the credits roll commenting on the present status of the house that has just been developed. The fools who have gone their own way will be described starkly as ‘still awaiting a sale’. The greedy couple who have skimped on quality or ignored the inadequacy of the access road might have ended up ‘living in the property themselves’ or ‘lowering the selling price for a quick sale’. The display of thousands of pounds lost to bad estimates and ridiculous whimsys draws a gasp every time. The stained glass door, the fibre optic lighting in the bath, the weird taps, all are highlighted as ‘dodgy from the start’ in the professional but painfully obvious objections raised by Beeny.

Yet even the most ludicrous of projects come out with some profit, largely because the programme has ridden confidently on the wave of the rising property prices from 2001 onwards. This has meant that even the most ridiculous of developments has made money, although perhaps not as much as if the developers had just left the place alone and sold it on a year later.

Credit crunch

Watching the current series in the light of the credit crunch and recent events in the financial sector is an interesting exercise since the beginnings of the projects stretch back as far as 2005. Now that the rise of property prices is less secure and now that buyers may be prepared to compromise on the spec of their kitchens and bathrooms, the values of Property Ladder seem to be over-extravagant. The heart-searching piece on the absolute need for an expensive granite worktop just comes over as petty. As does the constant refrain that ‘this is what would be expected in a high-end property of this sort’. Thousands of pounds are constantly being required in order to satisfy expectations of a level of luxury only imagined and dreamed of by the majority of buyers in the UK, let alone the rest of the world.

Property Ladder could be seen as X Factor for the over 30s. You make your money quickly, your talents and hard work are richly rewarded and you move on to higher glories as a result.

Look to Jesus

On the other hand, the programme could also be seen as a sort of a parable. The follower of Jesus makes the sensible decision to listen to him. It is foolish to ignore him because he knows the business and has been there before us. He takes a good look at the heart of the structure and challenges our improvement plans. He has no time for the token effort or the failure to consider the effects of our actions on others. And it is good to listen to him because the rewards are glorious. Jesus has gone to prepare many rooms for those who invest and develop wisely.

‘If the Lord does not build the house, the workers labour in vain’ (Psalm 127.1).

House mother?

New morality

Cautionary tale

Credit crunch

Look to Jesus

Eleanor Margesson

Main Articles

Other articles