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Can the popular social networking website really help you to be a better friend?

You may not have a Facebook webpage but you will almost certainly know someone who does. Facebook is the number one website in the new internet revolution, that is ‘Me Media’ webpages where you generate the content. Facebook and similar sites, such as MySpace, hi5, Bebo and Flickr, are all networks which encourage users to interact with one another, but Facebook is different because of the social community atmosphere that it promotes. Unlike MySpace, no one else can view your page unless you have acknowledged them as your ‘friend’ and so users are protected from wider viewing. You are notified of any activity between your network of friends and given ‘mini news feeds’ about their lives as they update their pages.

Managing friendships

In May 2007, the site pioneered the idea of opening its API (application programming content) to outside developers, which means that anyone can create a programme to engage with Facebook users and help them to ‘manage their friendships’: post photos and videos (8.6m are uploaded everyday), remember birthdays, send ‘gifts’, sell things, announce events, import quotes from the Bible, famous people, your favourite films, whatever. At the time of writing there are 3,879 different applications available.

Student origins

Facebook was launched in February 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg, a Harvard student who wanted a way for students to interact online with one another. A month later, over 70% of Harvard students were members and the potential worldwide success of the site became apparent. In July this year, membership hit 34 million and Facebook was valued at $1.6bn. The concept of publicly displaying a photo and information about yourself on the internet certainly has great appeal among the young but Facebook opportunities are being taken up by all sorts of people and organisations. Churches are finding that a ‘Facebook group page’ can help to welcome newcomers and inform them of events, gauge interest in ideas, answer questions and keep contact with those who for whatever reasons find it difficult to attend a ‘real’ gathering. This summer, when a volunteer was needed urgently to help on an activity camp, an announcement was made through a Facebook site and someone instantly signed up, ready to go the next day! Many Christians also find it useful as they look for ways to encourage and support one another through exchanging prayer requests and running group discussions on issues that Christians come across. For the Christian who struggles in a bawdy environment at work or the teenager who is the only person under 30 in her church, there is a lot to be said for a network that gives them strength to carry on trusting God. It is also useful as a way of keeping in contact with groups of friends from summer camps, old school friends, relatives who you normally just send Christmas cards to and friends who have moved away and you never get round to phoning them.

Downsides

But there are downsides too. If you are a celebrity, a politician, a teacher, a church leader or in any position of influence where respect is even vaguely important, then everything you show or write may one day come back to haunt you. If you are a Christian, someone who is called to ‘live a life worthy of the Lord’, your every decision is on show. From the picture that you choose as your profile photo to the comments that you give as your ‘status’, your application selections, photos, videos, gifts and friends, all say something about you, most specifically what you think about yourself. If you have a problem with vanity, it will show. If your personality is even slightly obsessive, it will soon become abundantly clear with the level of your activity on Facebook’s mini-news feeds. The biggest pain is that every time any of your friends does anything on their page, you get an email.

This can lead to a huge inbox full of unwanted information about people you are not interested in. You come to realise that you only really want information about your really good friends and you berate yourself for accepting friendship requests from people you barely know. The social implications of ‘ignoring’ a friendship request are tricky. It’s far more British to accept everyone and then use the ‘top friends’ application but the inbox is still a problem. Membership of the site can bring more problems than it solves.

There’s really no substitute for real interaction with the people that you want to spend time with. Facebook is fun, but when it stops you from picking up the phone or getting your friends round then perhaps you need to switch your status report to ‘away from the computer’.

Facebook face off

Managing friendships

Student origins

Downsides

Eleanor Margesson

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