Evangelicals Now
Christian news worldwide
magnifying glass Search archives
home Home check the archives Archives Subscribe Subscriptions Advertising Information & booking of classifieds Adverts Find a local evangelical Church Find a church for the search engines and extremely curious! About us Contact us Site Map
Printable
Version

The 11 chief snags about not having a telly

TV or not TV? — that is the question, occasionally aired in these pages. Here, for your blessing, is a further warning to those who might be tempted not to go with the flow.

1. You may not be able to follow many of the sermons in your church. The ones, that is, which start, ‘We were all watching with horror/fascination/ admiration/incredulity the events of last night/Friday/Thursday…’, etc. Some congregations are provided with pew Bibles, even when the pews have long since gone. It might be more helpful for many to be equipped with copies of the weekly TV Guide.

2. You will never, no never ever, win any prizes at the church’s quiz night — let alone the pub’s.

3. You may get very slightly bored when your friends take great pains to tell you what you have missed. After two minutes you stifle a yawn; five, and you take a quick look at your watch; 15, and you want to scream: ‘If I’d wanted to know all this, I would have got myself a set long ago!’

4. You will have no idea what the weather is; unless, that is, you go outside the door and look at the sky. But for many of us, ‘looking at Sky’ usually means something rather different now.

5. Nor will you have a clue what brand of car, beer, insurance policy, deodorant or toilet paper you need.

6. You won’t discover which are the most popular hymns voted for by those who never sing them.

7. You have nothing whatever to talk about at a party, tea break, home group, etc.

8. When you stay with your friends, they may switch on out of pity, to give you a taste of what they reckon you are bound to enjoy. Stay overnight, and the whole evening grinds on with it. Only you are far too polite to complain.

9. When you stay with your other friends, they may switch off the Cup-Tie or the Test Match because they know you never watch at home and wouldn’t want to when you are with them. You are still too polite.

10. You will get many written and personalised promises of visits from the TV Licensing people. You may stay in for days, weeks even, but they never come.

11. You will lose you faith in the Advertising Standards Authority. They allow adverts to say you face a choice between getting a licence and paying a fine. This is a lie, but they won’t admit it. There is another option.

Seymour Box