Shelf Life

MAY CONTAIN NUTS
By John O’Farrell
Black Swan. £6.99
ISBN 0 55277 162 7

I guess you don’t try to get to sleep at night by popping bubble wrap. Alice Chaplin, John O’Farrell’s main character in May Contain Nuts does.

She lies awake fretting about secondary school transfer, dairy allergies and road safety, and she tries to bust her stress by popping bubble wrap. Alice lives in a nice, affluent street in South London, but the terrifying world of the council estate she wants to close her eyes to is just down the road. She confesses that she’d like to keep her children inside a ‘giant version of the rain cover that used to unfold over their push chair’. But at the same time she is locked in a desperately competitive world of parenting, testing her four-year-old on what the different instruments represent in Peter and the Wolf, and going to listen to readers at primary school to spy on her own child. The pinnacle of her neurotic competitiveness sees her eventually disguising herself to take her daughter’s school entrance exam in her place. She emerges (unnoticed) as the winner of a scholarship and then the fun really begins.

Satire

May Contain Nuts is a satire, and a very effective one. At times it reads like the script of a politically aware sitcom. The characters are all larger than life, the scenarios they find themselves in often ludicrous and the one-liners very funny indeed. John O’Farrell (who’s been working in journalistic and TV satire for years) has picked fertile ground in attacking middle class urbanites with their obsessions and excesses, kettle chips and elderflower cordial.

Living in Chiswick, West London, I can see that his picture is pretty familiar. I know plenty of people who ferry their children around to a ridiculous number of improving after-school activities in 4x4s.

Actually, I recognised myself to a certain degree; I regularly agonise with other parents about secondary school transfer, I sneer at PlayStations, and at the time of writing, we do own a 4x4, (though it is 22 years old, which must exonerate us somewhat).

We can all laugh at a couple swotting up on The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe in bed to provide their daughter with insightful comments for her reading group (‘I think she should say that after the stuff on characterisation’).

Socialist convictions

But John O’Farrell’s socialist convictions drive him to say more; he wants to lead the reader to a solution. As Alice actually meets some of her black neighbours, she, of course, finds them to be polite, generous, hard working immigrants, not potential muggers. When she visits the local comprehensive she discovers that, of course, it is vibrant, well resourced and a place where some comic assertiveness easily deters bullies.

There is some truth in the picture of the angst-ridden middle classes and there is some truth in the picture of happy multiculturalism, but there is a lot missing from both. Satire is in its nature simplistic and political, so maybe I shouldn’t criticise too much.

But then again, I wonder if people like John O’Farrell find it easy to use these stereotypes because the real problems of urban living (whether you are poor or wealthy) are unfamiliar to him. Lots of schools, however hardworking their staff, are not vibrant, but beset by problems. Lots of council estates, however upright many of their inhabitants, are dangerous, dirty places. There is no simple solution.

Provocative points

Still, there are provocative points here that the church needs to think through. I was left genuinely grateful for the social diversity within our congregation, and was reminded how this is a relatively rare commodity. Part of being ‘a city on a hill’ within our cities must be to reveal how the gospel unites people from different classes and cultures.

I’m no popper of bubble wrap, but I know that I need to put to death anxieties and competitiveness about my children’s education. So if you are wondering whether you are getting just a teeny bit too angst-ridden about your children’s successes, or your own achievements, enjoying laughing with this book, but be sure to check if you’re in its mirror. Then go back to the Lord, and resolve that as for you and your household, you will serve him. ‘The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.’

Looking at secular books

Satire

Socialist convictions

Provocative points

Sarah Allen

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