From a cult to the love of Christ

On a sunny spring morning, 26 years ago, two Jehovah’s Witness women knocked at my door.

I thought they were nice, misguided souls and, determined to be open-minded, I listened. When they kept calling, I invited them inside, with the intention of showing them where their theology was incorrect.

Soon, our discussions turned into weekly visits. From the outset, I made it clear that I enjoyed the interchange of ideas but had no real desire to join the Watchtower religion. I was touched, however, when my new friends presented me with a Bible and a study aid, The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life. The older woman, Norma, explained that it was effective to research the Scriptures using this aid because it addressed questions people raised.

That made sense to me and I agreed to continue our discussions using the book. Although I set out to refute Witness beliefs, over time I became drawn in. I studied very deeply and almost all of what my friends stated could be backed up by logical-sounding arguments from their literature or from Scriptural references taken from their version of the Bible, the New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures.

Baptised

Five years later, I was baptised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. On an intuitive level, I knew that joining this group required a huge commitment; however, I could see no way out. If the Witnesses were right, Armageddon was coming, and my life — and, more importantly, the lives of my children — depended upon my acting!

I came to enjoy the door-to-door preaching work and pioneered occasionally, committing to 60 hours per month for this proselytising activity. I loved sharing the Bible’s message with others and conducted many Bible studies with interested people.

Seeds of doubt

In time, I found myself questioning the lifestyle we were encouraged to adopt. We were discouraged from forming significant relationships with ‘worldly’ people. This included non-Witness friends and relatives. Anyone who wasn’t one of Jehovah’s Witnesses was considered bad association, slated for destruction at Armageddon. This created an ‘us and them’ mindset, which engendered a feeling of isolation from the rest of society — we may not have been physically removed but certainly, on a psychological level, we were separated.

At congregation meetings, we were assailed with constant admonitions to do more. Most of the brothers and sisters struggled to keep up with the schedule of works outlined for them by the Society. Increasingly, I heard comments about how drained people felt and I saw the results first hand: those who suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and others who succumbed to stress-related or depressive disorders.

We were told that true Christians didn’t take a holiday from ‘The Truth’. The Society acknowledged the need for recreation but stressed putting spiritual interests first, cutting down on unnecessary time spent pursuing hobbies or personal pursuits. In addition to weekdays, we were encouraged to spend each Saturday morning engaged in the door-to-door preaching work and to set aside vacation time for pioneering.

For many, their only holiday was the yearly three or four-day District Convention. Usually, after all expenses were paid — gas, hotels, meals out, tips (which the Society encouraged for ‘a good witness’ to outsiders) and donations, the average Witness had no money left for additional vacation activities. I knew of brothers and sisters who, unable to afford the costs associated with travelling to and attending the conventions, charged these trips on their credit cards.

If a Witness felt his faith weakening, he was encouraged to devote more time to study and to increase his time in the preaching work. I dutifully did this but instead of regaining my spiritual balance, I felt even more troubled. I sensed that persuasion was being utilised in the Watchtower magazine. I noticed that the articles, while seemingly presenting both sides of an issue, always led readers to a predetermined viewpoint — one that coincided with the Society’s current theological interpretation.

Turning point

The turning point came when I found a Bible in a box of a relative’s belongings. I flipped it open and saw it was a Gideons Bible. I was about to discard it but remembered that Witnesses were permitted to have other Bible versions in their home libraries. We often told people we used other Bibles, which usually meant referencing an odd verse or two. I decided, instead, that I would read this particular version from cover to cover.

Praying for enlightenment, then reading what I affectionately called my ‘little blue bomb’, I felt the spiritual scales dropping from my eyes. Whole portions of scripture opened in new ways.

* I discovered the wonderful doctrine of grace, which filled my heart with joy. I thought of the many years I’d spent studying in the New World Translation and how, because the word ‘grace’ had been replaced with the words ‘undeserved kindness’, the meaning of this important doctrine had been obscured.

* For the first time, I understood the mystery Paul spoke about. The verses came together like pieces of a puzzle: the Gentiles would be brought into the flock of Jewish believers — and the two groups would become one! This made perfect sense and exemplified God’s love for all of mankind.

* It became obvious that the Holy Spirit was far more than God’s active force — that it could and would lead believers into all the truth.

* I rediscovered Jesus! The New Testament was filled with him. Witness publications, for the most part, put the focus on Jehovah, with Jesus playing a secondary role.

Hebrews 4.12 tells us that the Word of God is living and full of power and sharper than any two-edged sword. This certainly proved true. I was uncovering scriptural truths that years of association with ‘Jehovah’s Organisation’ and studying in the New World Translation had failed to bring to light. This Bible spoke to me and I felt overshadowed by an incredible feeling of peace. I related my experiences to a dear friend, Richard, and he replied: ‘It sounds like you’ve been born again’. I believe I have been.

Pandora’s box

Around this time, an article came out in the Watchtower magazine encouraging readers to examine the Watchtower Society’s record. Claims were made that, in doing so, one would be convinced that this organisation alone was God’s channel of truth. In what I attribute to workings of Holy Spirit, that article kept coming to mind, nudging me to action. I decided to undertake an extensive study of the movement, going back to its very genesis.

Examining the record was like opening a Pandora’s box. I discovered the Watchtower Society had a record of speculation, failed prophecies, and changed teachings a mile long. They’d sanitised their history by insinuating members had read too much into what was written, had re-released books with changes made to relevant texts, had eliminated more damaging articles from their Watchtower Library; and finally, sometimes years later, printed casual and vague admissions of culpability.

In recent years, the Society has likened reversals in their teachings to changes in direction a boat makes, claiming they were merely ‘tacking’. They’ve downplayed prophetic failures by stating they were sincerely keeping on the watch. While calling others false prophets, the Society has assumed little responsibility for the erroneous information they’ve promulgated, misrepresenting the Creator and his purposes.

Reaction

I stopped attending. I no longer bought the ideas of ‘present truth’ (truth doesn’t change) and ‘new light’ (when leaders claimed new understanding, emanating from God). I longed for true religious liberty, freedom to believe in that still small voice called conscience and to live my life guided by it.

Witness family members went into red alert. I was now viewed with suspicion. Their infrequent visits became opportunities for cloaked sermons about loyalty. Mine. One family member came right out and asked me: ‘Who are you loyal to?’ I replied that my loyalty was first and foremost to God’s Word, the Bible; rather than to the changing ideas of imperfect men. When hints were dropped that I sounded like an apostate, I responded by offering to show the research I’d done.

On the heels of this, the elders made a shepherding visit. I mentioned I’d been researching the Society’s history and had uncovered ten specific failed Armageddon prophecies. I said I wanted an explanation as to how this spiritual ‘food’ or ‘light’ from God could be in error… repeatedly. I offered to show them the prophecies, out of the publications. One of the elders raised his hands in alarm. ‘No, no, you don’t have to do that’, he said. They ended the visit by suggesting I write to headquarters in Brooklyn for answers.

The aftermath

I was neither disfellowshipped nor placed under any kind of reproof, but, to all intents and purposes, the verdict is in. All visits and phone calls from family members have stopped. Although I read my Bible and believe in God, this counts for naught and I’m viewed as one who is spiritually dead.

Perhaps my mother said it best: ‘Any teaching that separates families is harmful’. This has proved to be heartbreakingly true. The shunning treatment I’ve received for exercising my Christian conscience exemplifies the conditional love of Jehovah’s Witnesses, where loyalty to organisational diktats takes precedence over family relationships.

God’s Word has power

I remain thankful for that Gideon Bible, which made its way into my home when I needed it the most . . . and changed my life forever. Through its pages, I came out from spiritual bondage into the love and freedom of the Christ. Amen.

Ms. Green’s work has appeared in arts/avian/fiction/literary/poetry publications. She's at work on her fifth novel and is a guest columnist for The Sword Review. She is still being shunned. Her son, in collusion with Witness family members, has adopted a ‘hands off’ policy and has kept silent about the birth of Athlyn’s grandchild.
Athlyn ministers to those whose lives have been adversely affected by Watchtower dogma.