When God doesn't heal

I am always thrilled to read accounts of God’s miraculous healings, and rejoice with those concerned, but I would like to tell of our experience of when God does not heal.

It happened in 1993, although it does not seem that long ago, my memories of it all are still so vivid.

Our middle son David and his wife Jayne (to whom he had been married for just over two years) came to spend New Year with us. He complained that he had been ill all over Christmas and complained of being breathless. However, he seemed to improve while he was with us and we had a lovely time with David and Jayne and the rest of our family — our youngest son John and our eldest son Paul, daughter-in-law Mandy and baby grandson Nicholas.

David and Jayne returned home to Southampton but I became increasingly concerned for his health as every time I spoke to David on the phone he said he was not getting any better. He was being treated for asthma, but that didn’t seem to make any difference.

David was always very ‘skinny’, but every time we saw him he seemed to have lost even more weight. He could no longer cycle to work and he was given permission to use the manager’s car park so he didn’t have so far to walk to the office, as he was so breathless. Our active, athletic son seemed to be fading away.

Admitted to hospital

Eventually, at the end of May he was admitted to Southampton General Hospital for tests. I’ll never forget the evening, a week later that we were called to the hospital. It was pouring with rain as we made the journey from our home in Portsmouth. When we walked into his room we could see from the look on the faces of David and Jayne that the news was bad. A nurse came and told us that his condition was very, very serious and that he needed a heart and lung transplant to survive. We couldn’t believe it; we just couldn’t take it in. David was so scared and distressed. They had called the pastor and elders from their church, Portswood Church, and they came and anointed him with oil, prayed for him and committed him to the Lord in accordance with James 5.13-16.

The next day David was transferred to Papworth Hospital. Jayne and I went with him and we stayed in accommodation arranged for us by the hospital.

Dark days

And so began weeks of raised hopes, dashed hopes, and some very dark days, but through it all the Lord was with us and gave us the strength to carry on. The Lord seemed to give Jayne extra special strength and peace, and helped her to keep strong for David’s sake.

It was hard for my husband Tony and son John left at home. Tony would make the long journey to Papworth every weekend. John, Paul and his family came when they could.

We eventually found out that David was suffering from a rare condition called Primary Pulmonary Hypertension. This means that the blood pressure in the pulmonary artery is abnormally high and this puts a tremendous strain on the heart.

We had tremendous love and support from our church family at Eastney Evangelical Free Church in Portsmouth and from Portswood Church in Southampton. The pastor of Portswood put us in touch with a couple he knew in Cambridge and also with Godmanchester Baptist Church (four miles from Papworth). We were shown such love and friendship from those dear people and we praise the Lord that as Christians you are never alone, that the Body of Christ is found wherever you are.

We had very dark days when we questioned and doubted God. I remember one particularly bad day when I felt that God wasn’t there and I doubted his word and I cried out: ‘God, are you really there? Is your Word really true?’

Prayer without pretending

The Psalms were a great help. In many cases the psalmist tells God exactly what is in his mind even when he feels angry and complaining. We must be able to pray without pretending. It’s good to know that God is faithful and true and this doesn’t depend on our feelings. As Job said: ‘Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?’ Job could also say: ‘I know that my Redeemer lives’ and this is true whether we feel it or not.

We held on to the words of the hymn David chose as his baptismal hymn: ‘Because he lives I can face tomorrow, because he lives all fear is gone, because I know he holds the future and life is worth the living just because he lives.’

David spent about six weeks in Papworth and when he came home he and Jayne moved in with us so we could nurse him together. There were times when we were all irritable and tearful and I remember one occasion when things were particularly stressful that David called us all into him and he prayed for us!

During this stressful time the Lord directed Tony to a passage in John 6.66-69. Things were getting hard and difficult for Jesus’s followers and many turned back and no longer followed him. Jesus asked the 12 if they wanted to leave too and Peter, ever the spokesman, said: ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.’ However hard things would get for us we knew we couldn’t turn our backs on Jesus, he was the only One we could go to.

David deteriorated quickly in spite of all the prayer going on for his recovery. There was even a day of prayer and fasting called and people from all over the country responded to this, but still he deteriorated.

He had another spell in Papworth in October but we were told there was not much they could do for him, and he was too weak for a transplant even if one became available. While at the hospital we were able to share our faith with very ill people and their families and we thank God for those opportunities.

Died in our arms

We nursed David at home again when he came out of Papworth the second time and, on the evening of December 1, the Lord took him. He died in our arms with his family surrounding him. I praise the Lord that he allowed David to die at home with his family around him and not in hospital miles away at Papworth …. he was just 25 years old.

His funeral was a time of thanksgiving and praise as well as a time of sadness, and it touched the hearts of the many who attended just as his life and death touched the hearts of many.

I would like to share some thoughts that have helped me and may help others who face suffering and death. Psalm 116.15 is a lovely verse referring to the death of the Lord’s people. ‘Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.’ Jesus in his prayer in John 17 says this: ‘Father I want those you have given me to be with me where I am and to see my glory…’. Jesus actually longs for us to go and be with him; that’s a lovely thought.

A book I read quoted from the writings of Amy Carmichael and I found the words so helpful and comforting. ‘The son asked, “What is death?” His father replied: “The Saviour said, I will come again and receive you unto myself that where I am there ye may be also.” The son repeated those peaceful words: “I will receive you unto myself”, and he wondered that man had given so harsh a name to anything so gentle as that which those words signified.’ The picture of death as Jesus coming and receiving us unto himself into his lovely presence is beautiful and brings such comfort and peace.

We all know the verse Romans 8.28, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.’ We may wonder how some of the things we have to go through can possibly be working for our good! But God himself in the next verse explains the ultimate good; the good that shines above everything else God wants us to have. ‘For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son....’. The good that Romans 8.28 is talking about is that we become like Jesus conformed to his likeness. To paraphrase it: ‘All things work together for the ultimate good purpose of making us like Jesus.’

Why didn’t God heal David? We don’t know, but we do know that God’s ways are perfect and that David is now completely healed and completely like Jesus because he is with him.

Postscript: Jayne has since remarried and we are still in touch with her and her husband, Ian. Paul and Mandy now have two children, Nicholas who is 13, and Natasha, 11. John is married to Valerie and they have Emily who is 4 and expect another baby in May.

Admitted to hospital

Dark days

Prayer without pretending

Died in our arms

Jaqueline Wells

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