Post-abortion syndrome

This year is the 30th anniversary of the 1967 Bill which legalised abortion. With this in mind, EN sent Stephanie Mason to interview Grace Kirkham.

Grace was pregnant in 1972, aged 17. Her boyfriend convinced her of the need to have an abortion, telling her that neither of them could possibly cope with a baby. It was five years after the Abortion Act. She married her boyfriend, but later divorced him for adultery.

Grace now works for SPUC, publishers of the recent book entitled ...And still they weep. It carries personal stories of a wide variety of women who have had abortions and tells how they have come to terms with their loss and grief. The after-effects are now being widely recognised by medical authorities as post-abortion syndrome.

EN: How and why did you first get involved with SPUC?

GK: In 1986 I saw an advert for a SPUC meeting in my church and decided to go along. I had married Mike in the meantime, who was a Christian, and I'd just had a miscarriage at five weeks pregnant.

When I went to the meeting, I wasn't planning to speak about my own experience but I asked God if he wanted me to get involved in some way. At the meeting were two friends who knew about my abortion and they encouraged me to be involved with SPUC.

Punishing ourselves

EN: Are there many women who have had abortions in the past but feel they can't talk about it?

GK: Yes. They know they should feel forgiven, because God is a forgiving God, but they cannot forgive themselves. Churches make it harder because they are reluctant to say abortion is wrong. Society would punish anyone who killed a 'live' child, but says it's OK to kill your unborn child. Because we've had the abortions, we know we need punishment. If society won't put us in jail or punish us, then we do it ourselves. This takes various forms: some women take drugs or start drinking heavily, others either become promiscuous or go off sex altogether. You say to yourself: 'I'm a horrible person and not worth being forgiven'.

EN: The stories in ...And still they weep seem to be consistent in their experience that a lot of pressure from family, boyfriend and doctors forces the woman to decide to abort.

GK: That's right . . . you get caught on a treadmill and feel as though you can't get off.

Boyfriends and doctors

EN: Did you take the responsibility for the abortion or was it a decision shared by others?

GK: I felt my boyfriend and my doctor were also to blame as I thought they knew better because they were 'adults'. No one ever said: 'Don't do this - you don't have to'. When you're pregnant you are so vulnerable anyway. Even making small decisions like what to get for dinner can make you burst into tears. Society tells you that it's the easy solution to your problem, but to make a life or death decision in this way is wrong.

EN: The problem is that doctors say they have to do it earlier rather than later because of complications.

GK: But doctors should realise what the after-effects are.

EN: Do many recognise post-abortion syndrome?

GK: Most refuse to look at it. Even Christian doctors can think abortion is the 'compassionate thing', but the real compassion is to say: 'No. It's not right to kill your child, no matter what the circumstances are'.

Good intentions?

EN: What about where a mother's life is endangered?

GK: It's the intention that counts. Most mothers whose lives were threatened would prefer to carry the pregnancy as far as possible anyway in the hope that the baby would survive even if it was early. In the case of abortion of a handicapped baby, you never know how bad it will turn out until birth, and God may show his power and heal the baby!

EN: As Christians we have ideals, but most women wouldn't know about any of these things - God's love, the choices available, and so on. All they know is that they're in a situation of panic. What's the answer for them?

GK: By hearing that organisations like SPUC and BVA (British Victims of Abortion) will love and support them no matter what decision they have made. We don't judge them.

EN: Are you saying that if they go ahead with the abortion, you will still help them?

GK: We tell them about the contra-indications that follow abortion; the emotional and physical damage they will suffer for the rest of their lives, as well as the possibility that the abortion could make them infertile. Many women say: 'If only someone had told me that it was a baby and not just a collection of cells, I never would have gone through with it'. Having said that, if they still want to go ahead with the abortion, of course we would still be there for them afterwards.

EN: Do medical staff reinforce the idea of the baby being a blob of jelly and not a human being?

GK: Yes, it makes it easier for them that way. That's why SPUC have badges of tiny feet at ten weeks' conception. People say: 'Wow . . . I never knew it was fully formed at that stage'.

EN: If you told them the exact details of the abortion procedure, e.g. how the baby is poisoned, cut up and sucked out, would they react to this as 'scare-mongering'?

GK: If you go into hospital for any other operation, you are usually told in detail what is going to happen. Abortion is the only one where you aren't told.

EN: Is this because the government has condoned and legalised abortion?

GK: Yes. And because many doctors and gynaecologists would lose their jobs if they refused to abort.

In Vitro Fertilisation

EN: Is IVF another method of abortion?

GK: Doctors pump women with drugs and they don't know the long-term effects. Fertilised eggs are used for experiments. 'Selective reduction' is the term used for selective abortion. After implantation, abortion is carried out in the womb. They find the 'runts' of the 'litter' and inject poison into their hearts. That's what Mandy Alwood was offered in her case of multiple pregnancy. The mothers have to decide what to do with the spare eggs.

EN: In the BBC programme Making Babies, Steptoe was given freedom to do what he wanted with the eggs.

GK: Yes. Some will be used for experiments and discarded after 14 days. Women who want babies are made to have abortions at the same time! The same doctors who perform IVF are also doing abortions. Many women receiving IVF could be infertile because of previous abortions. The doctor receives a double benefit . . . they abort and receive money, then offer IVF and get even more!

EN: What would you like to say to churches about the issue of abortion?

GK: Church members must find out how their MPs are voting on this issue. We still have abortion up to birth in this country. Even the prospect of adoption wouldn't prevent that baby from being aborted.

EN: The book mentions gravestones as a suitable focus for grief and memorial for the lost babies. Do you think it would help?

GK: Yes, if the mothers could afford it. Abortion is so secretive that a memorial would make it public.

Note: post-abortion syndrome

Symptoms of post-abortion trauma can occur months or many years after the abortion and can include: 1. depression; 2. guilt; 3. drug/alcohol abuse; 4. eating disorders; 5. flashbacks; 6. cramping and cervical pain; 7. atonement or replacement baby (usually within a year of the abortion); 8. difficult subsequent pregnancies and labour; 9. hallucinations of infants crying; 10. obsession with children or births and creation of a phantom child.

Further information from British Victims of Abortion, PO Box 91, Glasgow, G1 2DB (0141 226 5407).

Interview with Grace Kirkham