Monthly youth leaders column

'Resistance is futile', droned the Daleks in Doctor Who, and who but the good Doctor could stand up to them?

As we all know, resistance can be fairly common among young people too. Like most of us they want everything on their terms. Sometimes the most intricate planning can be wasted because no-one turns up, or there is silence during the discussion. The subject can be as silly as the wrong music on the stereo at the social, young people are experts at finding things to moan about. How do you react when your best is just not good enough? Here are some diagnostic questions to ask:

Are the young people converted?

Only the politest teenager (if that's not an oxymoron!) will carry on coming to a Bible study group if they are not converted. Perhaps the grumbling is because they are not converted and they need more time before they will respond to the gospel.

Prescription:
* Pray for their conversion
* Build those relationships
* Look for opportunities to present the gospel
* Challenge to respond

What are they looking for in the group?

There may be a conflict of interests within the group. The youth just want the social scene, but you really want to provide more. Our society gives young people all sorts of reasons for wanting to find their own space and develop relationships outside the family, but what are you offering your young people?

Prescription:
* Pray that their priorities will change
* Don't neglect the social aspect of the group
* Look to convert it into spiritual growth
* Be sure that being a Bible-based, Christian group makes you different

Is discipline a problem?

'You treat us like children' is a common complaint. 'We'll treat you like adults when you behave like adults' is the classic parental retort. Grumbles can also be rebellion against necessary rules for the group's smooth running. Is it usual teenage moaning or are there bigger issues?

Prescription:
* Pray about it with the other leaders
* Talk about it in depth with the young people to get to the heart of the issue
* Review the activities and rules to make sure they are appropriate
* Give the young people some responsibilities

Is there an 'ownership' problem?

Sometimes the grumbles come from a lack of freedom and involvement for the young people. They feel as if their hands are being held and all the decisions are made for them. Young people like choice (that's the spirit of the age), even if you have already narrowed that choice down to what is feasible.

Prescription:
* Pray for deepening relationships with the young people
* Involve the group members in planning at different levels within the church
* Getting the group's written feedback is useful occasionally
* Look for more ways to serve the church together

What is the spiritual maturity of the group?

In a similar way to the question about conversion, spiritual growth happens gradually. Different age groups, different Christian maturity and even sometimes the male/female divide mean that one size of youth programme does not fit all.

Prescription:
* Pray for the spiritual health and growth of each teenager, individually
* Look for ways to challenge them to move on
* Support Christian parents of the group members
* Be stretched spiritually yourself and be honest - you are their role model - grow together

Final encouragements

You're doing the job, somehow you're there every Friday or every Sunday, you can't even remember how you got there. And no one has ever said it would be easy. The growing pains of youth groups seem to last forever, but we have to remember who is in charge. We struggle in our particular job 'with all his energy' (Colossians 1). Week in and out we can't see the wood for the trees, but change does happen as God does his work in people's lives. There are conversions, there is spiritual growth. God uses our humble efforts anyway. And because of that, Christian youth leadership is the best job in the world.

Try stepping back to see the long term growth of the group. Talk to the leaders who had the young people before, to get their perspective. Get the overview from church leaders (and if you're a church leader - encourage your youth and children's leaders, go on, right now, pick up the phone). Chat to the group themselves and see what they remember about last week, last month or last summer. You'll be surprised.

When your best is not good enough!

Are the young people converted?

Is discipline a problem?

Is there an 'ownership' problem?

Final encouragements

Roger Fawcett

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