Don't date a corpse

The biblical pattern - never intermarry. The patriarchs had to marry within their family and not from 'the daughters of the land' (Genesis 24.3 - Isaac's wife; Genesis 27.46 - Jacob's wife).

Why did they have to do this?
Because 'the LORD had said to the children of Israel, "You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods." Solomon clung to them in love, however. It was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods... Solomon did evil in the sight of the LORD, and did not fully follow the LORD, as did David his father' (1 Kings 11.1-6).

It was a serious thing, not a minor detail, when they broke with this:

'The people began to commit harlotry with the women of Moab. They invited the people to the sacrifice of their gods, and the people ate and bowed down to their gods. So Israel was joined to Baal of Peor and the anger of the LORD was aroused against Israel. And those who died in the plague that followed were twenty-four thousand' (Numbers 25.1).

This seriousness never changed.

The final straw

1,000 odd years later in Nehemiah's time, the final straw, after Sabbath-breaking, was that 'in those days I also saw Jews who had married women of Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. And half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod, and could not speak the language of Judah. So I contended with them and cursed them, struck some of them and pulled out their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, "You shall not give your daughters as wives to their sons, nor take their daughters for your sons or yourselves. Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? Yet among many nations there was no king like him - nevertheless pagan women caused even him to sin. Should we then hear of your doing all this great evil, transgressing against our God by marrying pagan women?"' (Nehemiah 13.23-27).

This Old Testament pattern is only racist at a simplistic level - Israel means Prince-with-God. If a nation was against God, serving other gods, how could you intermarry with someone from such a nation? Rahab and Ruth would be examples of foreigners who joined the people of God and then married perfectly legitimately and have the honour of being directly in the line to Christ.

So what? That's Old Testament. What about the New?

New Testament

Within the family of Christ there is an even greater difference than simply that of race and culture.

Whoever has received Christ Jesus as Lord, 'to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God' (John 1.13).

If you have Christ as your King and have been born again, you are no longer 'children of wrath, just as others', but 'fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God' (Ephesians 2.3,19). 'And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise' (Galatians 3.29).

Then we also must not intermarry.

Alive or dead?

And if you are alive in Christ and the other still dead in Adam (and rejecting Christ, however subtly) then 'what fellowship has light with darkness? And what part has a believer with an unbeliever?' (2 Corinthians 6.14,15). There is all the difference in the world between a believer and an unbeliever, however sympathetic they may appear to be* - do we question this? - question it on the Last Day, when unbelievers and believers are eternally parted - over a single simple issue, 'how did they deal with Christ?'

Thus it is that when Paul comes to talk about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7.39, he says, 'A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.' Paul's motive in this chapter is also crucial to note (v.35): 'And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.'

Already married?

For those already married to non-Christians: 'If anyone has a spouse who does not believe, if the spouse is willing to stay married, do not divorce'. For you may be used in the salvation of your spouse, and in any case, the children need you both (1 Corinthians 7.12-16).

We cannot do as we please in this matter...

And if we are inclined to think still that we can 'become one flesh' with one who is not born again and do what we want in spite of what it is clear Christ the Living Word commands, then the Spirit questions us ruthlessly and frankly as to our understanding - 'Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body' (1 Corinthians 6.19,20).

And finally check this, Malachi 2.11-12:

'Judah has dealt treacherously,
And an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem,
For Judah has profaned
The LORD's holy institution which He loves:
He has married the daughter of a foreign god.
May the LORD cut off from the tents of Jacob
The man who does this, being awake and aware,
Yet who brings an offering to the LORD of hosts!'

A fearsome text, with such consequences as would not be wished on any man or woman.

* If we are not with Christ, then we remain 'blinded by the god of this age, and do not believe' (2 Corinthians 4.4) and, not having been granted repentance, cannot 'come to our senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to his will' not God's (2 Timothy 2.26) - in such a state we cannot be with Christ and 'he who is not with Me is against Me' (Matthew 12.30).