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There are many good resources to help with Christian parenting, but sometimes it's good to listen to the youngsters themselves. Here is a set of ideas written by a teenager to his parents.

1. Don't spoil me: I know quite well that I shouldn't get all I ask for. I'm testing you...

2. Don't be afraid to be firm with me: I prefer it - it makes me feel secure.

3. Don't let me form bad habits: I have to rely on you to detect them.

4. Don't make me feel smaller than I am: it only makes me act stupidly 'big'.

5. Don't correct me in front of others if you can help it: I'll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

6. Don't make me feel my mistakes are sins: it upsets my sense of value.

7. Don't be upset when I say 'I hate you': it isn't you I hate, but your power to thwart me.

8. Don't protect me from consequences: I need to learn the painful way sometimes.

9. Don't take too much notice of my small ailments: sometimes they get the attention that I really need.

10. Don't nag me: I shall protect myself by going deaf.

11. Don't offer me rewards that are then too difficult to keep: I feel badly let down when promises are broken

12. Don't press me too much: I am easily frightened into telling lies.

13. Don't be inconsistent: that completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

14. Don't tell me my fears are silly: they are terribly real to me and you can do much to reassure my by trying to understand.

15. Don't put me off when I ask questions: if you do, you will find I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.

16. Don't ever suggest you're perfect or infallible: it gives me a great shock to discover that you are neither.

17. Don't think it is beneath your dignity to apologise to me: an honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm towards you.

18. Don't forget how quickly I am growing up: it must be hard to keep up with me, but please try.

19. Don't forget I love experimenting: I couldn't get on without it, so please put up with it.

20. Don't forget that I can't thrive without lots of understanding and love: but I didn't need to tell you that, did I?

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<< July 2003 >>