Boys Becoming Men

He's growing up!

BOYS BECOMING MEN:
Creating rites of passage
By Lowell Sheppard
Spring Harvest. 152 pages
ISBN 1 85078 473 6

'These are the years when a young man changes into the man he's gonna be for the rest of his life.' So says his uncle to the teenage Peter Parker - alias Spiderman in the blockbuster hit movie.

Lowell Sheppard shares a similar conviction which has led him to write this book. He certainly has my support in tackling this vitally important matter. As he and many others have noted, there is widespread and justifiable concern about what is occurring to boys and young men, largely as a result of the unrestrained undermining of what it means to be a man in the 21st-century Western world.

The book is clearly laid out in short chapters with neat summaries and key thoughts at the end of each one to aid memory and understanding. The style of the writer is extremely clear and it is a real joy to read something which is simple without being simplistic in its analysis of the situation. He has also read pretty widely (although I was surprised that Melanie Phillips's insightful book The Sex Change Society wasn't referred to) and there is an endearing honesty and genuine vulnerability to the writing along with much sound common sense.

Sheppard's basic idea is that, with the confusion over when manhood/adulthood is reached, parents and churches need to set up a variety of events/experiences that can form rites of passage encouraging boys and young men to move to mature adulthood. Such a puberty rite of passage he terms a PROP.

There is much to agree with in the book: his analysis of the need for boys to grow into responsible adulthood; an overview of the struggles for boys, with good understanding of their physical needs; the key role played by both family (in its widest sense) and the church. I particularly appreciated the sensitivity displayed to those who are single parents. To the extent that Sheppard's book encourages families to be more meaningfully involved with each other and churches to recognise that the raising of all children is a community responsibility, then this book is to be welcomed.

However, I also had some major concerns. Whenever we are addressing issues which popular culture is also concerned about we need to ensure that it is biblical thinking which shapes the cultural input and not the other way round. Unfortunately I think that this book has failed to do this.

Too often it seems that Scripture has been squeezed into the world's mould.

Thus the lives of David and Joseph are summarised on p.20 as stories about 'boys discovering the man within through daring escapades'. The Bible makes it clear that these are stories where these two young men learned to rely on God - see, for example, the constant reference to dependence upon God expressed by David in his confrontation with Goliath in 1 Samuel 17 and Joseph's famous God-centred summary of his experiences in Genesis 50.19-20. Discovering inner strength may be the aim of popular psychology but it is light years away from the Bible's teaching.

On p.54 the Transfiguration is presented as a model of a 'spiritual retreat' which produces 'unexpected fun and surprise'. Yet it is clear that (a) this is a unique encounter with God the Father, which is not a model for the Christian life, and (b) fear, awe and shock are what Peter, James and John experienced. The concept of 'fun' in this context would be pretty surprising to them.

The spiritual life is also referred to in terms which bear little resemblance to biblical teaching: on page 43 we are encouraged to aim at helping the young person 'to feel God'. But nowhere is this unpacked biblically.

In sum, the whole approach to what God has said is 'man-centred' (if you'll excuse the pun) rather than God-centred.

This may appear to be mere carping but surely it is a fundamental principle in good relationships that people's words are not misrepresented. How much more is this the case with God's words. This matter is a fundamental flaw throughout the book, captured in the revealing statement on p.49 that, as part of his PROP, 'a boy COULD simply spend time reading passages of Scripture...' (emphasis added). The Bible is thus but one strand in an array of experiences on offer to move boys to mature adulthood. Yet as the Holy Spirit's inspired word and God's full and final revelation it should be THE focus of spiritual maturation.

Another important matter is the fact that the book strangely ignores the 'feminisation' of much modern church life, which predominates in so much children's and youth work. This is a source of much drift away from church life for so many boys. So far as I can tell Sheppard would not endorse such things but nowhere are they directly addressed in this book.

This book could have been of much greater use had it allowed Scripture to be the mould rather than being shaped so much by prevailing psychological trends.

Ian Fry, Director of Youth & Children's Ministry Training, Oak Hill College, London

Creating Rites of Passage

He's growing up!

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