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 PrintableVersion A hiding to nothing?On the campaign to undermine the proper discipline of childrenThe NSPCC is a well respected charity that has been working for the benefit of children for many years, but now we find that it is undermining biblical values in regard to the upbringing of children and has mounted a vigorous campaign against physical punishment. Draft laws were put before our parliament and assemblies to make smacking a child a criminal offence. They were defeated because it was deemed that our child abuse laws are quite adequate for dealing with any real abuse that takes place. The NSPCC has produced a booklet called 'Encouraging better behaviour. A practical guide to positive parenting'. This sounds promising until you look inside and see that it comes from a thoroughly secular humanistic world view and is very emotive in its dealing with physical punishment, compared to a naively unrealistic approach to other means of behaviour management. Five reasons are given why children misbehave: attention seeking; revenge; feeling powerless; feeling bad/sad; stage of development. Christians will note that, while these may be reasons, there is one glaring omission - sin. All parents know it well; that time when you've said 'no' and the child looks you knowingly in the eye and then does it! The five reasons may be valid, but they are not the total picture: 'There is no one righteous, not even one' (Romans 3.10). There are statements in the booklet that just aren't true, e.g. 'smacking always makes toddler behaviour ... worse'. If you followed the advice, some important lessons would not be taught. For instance using distraction too often means a child never learns self-restraint which we see in Galatians 5.23 is a fruit of the Spirit. The child grows up expecting the world to give them what they want all the time, rather than learning to be content (Philippians 5.12). Ignoring sinThere are ideas in the booklet that just don't work. Ignoring minor misbehaviours is constantly being offered as a means of positive parenting. Unfortunately, in practice, this means that more major misbehaviours have to be dealt with. Sin is desirable and so, if someone can get away with it, they just do it more. Behaviour among adults regarding road traffic rules highlights this tendency. The Bible shows us that God doesn't grade sin according to size. Jesus tells us to take drastic action over any sin we are committing (Mark 9.45). A positive parent is told never to smack as 'this gives a bad example of how to handle strong emotions and makes your child angry and resentful, which can damage your relationship'. This does not allow for a smack to be given in the context of a loving relationship where a warning has been given. There will be no such anger and resentment then, but an understanding of a just punishment given for a known crime. It will also serve as a deterrent to further infringement (Proverbs 29.15). The advice in the booklet is sometimes unrealistic and abrogates responsibility. For example, a suggestion is given that if a child won't do their homework then they will have to take the consequences of being in trouble at school. But what can the school do? They have no sanctions nowadays. The consequence will be that they won't reach their potential in their exam grades, but that is far too far away to matter to an 11-year-old. This action also passes on responsibility as parents to others. The Bible exhorts parents to 'not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord' (Ephesians 6.4). They have a slogan, 'If smacking works, why do you have to keep doing it?' This is an illogical statement. It is equally mad to ask 'If washing works, why do you have to keep doing it?' Many things have to be repeated in life, and discipline is one of them. Poor objectionsThese are just some of the errors in this booklet, which sees no distinction between indiscriminate smacking used in anger and smacking used with other forms of punishment to suit the child and situation. Smacking does not lead to more violence, but lack of adequate discipline and training does, as seen in our schools today where there is more violence than ever between pupils and towards staff. The pictures used are emotive and unfair showing smacking only taking place in anger. 'Spare the rod and spoil the child' is quoted as a saying that 'has just sprung up to justify smacking'. On the contrary, Jews and Christians have learned from God in Proverbs how to bring up their children properly. There are some amazing and condescending remarks made about previous generations who had far less abused children, less disaffected youngsters, lower teenage suicide rates and child criminals in their societies. Where is the proof that their ideology works? As Christians we know that it won't work because of fundamental flaws in the beliefs behind it. There needs to be a return to a right view of mankind - the biblical one that we are basically rebels, but nevertheless wonderfully and beautifully made by God and loved by him. This compares with the current view that the so-called tolerant humanists are forcing on society - that we are all basically good and therefore children just need that side of them encouraged out. The Christian approach is that children need training whereby the bad in them is restrained and they are taught good ways of behaving. That is the approach which has led to the stable and prosperous society that we had and which is fast disappearing as we are fed a lie which will not work What can we do? Heather Tinker© Evangelicals Now - January 2003 |
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