Sometimes, if I wasn't out of my mind with drink, they would take me quite a distance from Ferguslie Park so that I would sober up on the long walk home. I ran away often, sometimes intentionally, but mostly I went when I was blind drunk and didn't know what I was doing. In the morning I would wake up in London or Folkestone or even Ireland and not have the first clue how I got there. I hated myself when I was sober, and hated myself even worse after I'd been on another bender.