Thin pastiche

Last Christmas we went to visit some whimsical in-laws who live in a picturesque street in an Oxford village. As we approached our destination along the chilly roadway, we noticed the festive Yuletide wreaths adorning almost every front door, bespeaking the fullness and pleasures of the season. We wondered what decoration would regale our eyes at the entrance to our relatives' home. We were met with a computer-generated notice which said in large letters: 'Don't get excited'.

Dr John Benton