October 1997 - Evangelicals Now - Christian Newspaper

Riad and Izdihar Kassis came to Britain with their son, Timmy, in September 1994. Riad is studying Hebrew, Arabic and Biblical proverbs for his doctorate in theology. In this interview, his wife, Izdihar, shares her family's experience of Britain.

Q: Izdihar, you were born in Syria, grew up in Jordan and before coming to the UK, you were in Lebanon. What were you doing there?

A: I was teaching Christianity and other subjects in an orphanage which is also a boarding school. We have about 700 students from age four to 20 years and about 100 staff. My husband, Riad, is the chaplain there and we have a church building inside the school compound. Riad and I are responsible for the spiritual lives of the whole community.

Q: Are most of the orphans and students in the school Christian?

A: No, 80% of the students are Muslim and not Christian and even though it is a Christian school some of the staff are Muslim. Our school is a Christian private school, but it is open to everyone, especially to the children who have lost one or both parents in the war in Lebanon over the last 20 years. Because we offer a very good standard of education, most of the children in our area prefer our school.

Q: You came to England two years ago when Riad started his PhD. What were your expectations of life in England?

A: I heard a lot about England before I came here and we studied about England in school. We have lived overseas twice before, where we met many people including some English people. I expected to find a friendly atmosphere, growing churches and many Christians everywhere because it is a Christian country. I thought my neighbours would be Christians and my friends would be Christians.

Q: What did you find most difficult to cope with about Britain?

A: People here are very different from our people. People here are very lovely and very nice but they have their own lives. They are afraid of strangers. They are afraid to be friendly. This hurt a lot because I didn't expect this. I expected that at least in the church I would find close friends. In our country, we live for people and people live for each other. Our aim is to please others, our home is for others and especially if we are Christians then we want to give our lives for people.
But I was surprised that even in the church everyone prefers to live alone and people do not easily invite us to visit them. Even when we were sick people did not visit us. We have been here for almost two years and just very, very few people want to be friendly. And this surprised me because if we are Christians we must want to be like Jesus and give ourselves to others and not live our lives for ourselves.

Q: So would you say that the nominal Christians and the Muslims in your country were in this respect more mature than committed Christians in this country - in terms of getting to know people and sharing their belongings and sharing their lives?

A: Yes, I think so. The Muslims are very much better in this area and they are very much more friendly. The Muslims and Christians live together in our country and we do not think: 'This one is Muslim and this one is Christian.' We are all one family there, they open their houses to us, in fact, they welcome us more than the other Muslims, because they want to be nice to us more than the other Muslims and we want to be nice to them more than the other Christians. I think that in this area they are better than the Christians here.

Q: You came to England not only with Riad but also with Timmy. What was his experience of England?

A: Timmy had a very bad experience of Britain and I do not want to blame only Britain, maybe we also should blame ourselves. But Timmy had a very difficult time, when he came to the school he was treated very badly by the other kids - they ignored him and they treated him as a boy who came from a terrorist country, a bad country. And he felt very bad about it and he couldn't forgive them, and he hated this country and he left this country to stay with his grandparents away from us.

Q: Was there a big change for Timmy - being the highly respected pastor's son in Syria to being a stranger of no status in England?

A: Yes, I think it was a big change for him. Because he is our only son, we spoil him a lot and all the family spoil him and like him and love him and he is special for everyone there. In the school, where we were working, he was very special for the children and the teachers and everyone - so he was used to being a special person. When he came here, he felt lonely and ignored by everyone. No-one knows him and no-one says anything nice about him. So he was hurt too much, and this affected his life and our lives also.

Q: Everything in Britain has not been completely bad, I hope. What has helped?

A: For the first few months, it was very difficult for me. I remember spending the whole day crying and praying and just feeling very, very bad. But then I met a few people who were different: some friends, some international friends, some British friends and we started having Bible study groups in our house. If no-one visited me, I think I would die - I cannot live without helping people. I think this is the only thing which helped me cope with living in Britain.

Q: What would you like British Christians to know about the international students and visitors who live next door or whom we meet in our churches?

A: We really don't know anything of what they are thinking, who they really are or what they are feeling about Britain.
Well, I think firstly recognise that many of the students are the very best achievers in their own countries. Secondly, recognise that they need to be respected as people, they need love, they need care. And finally, recognise that British people can learn from them. They are not here only because they want to take something from Britain, they also want to give. Give them the opportunity to share what they have, the experience they have, the love they have, open your houses to them and invite them - (at this Izdihar bursts into laughter at her thoughts) - or if you don't want to treat them better at least treat them like other British people.

Welcoming overseas students

Interview with Izdihar Kassis (pastor's wife) concerning experiences in Britain

International Student Christian Services

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