Monthly column on hymns and songs

What do you look for in a friend? Here I ask the iron-willed to pause and jot down three or four qualities you value in your friends. What earns them, or you, the name of 'friend', different from family, work colleagues and next-door neighbours.

Now don't throw that away, but keep it handy while you move on to think of Jesus as a friend. That should not be hard; the concept is deep-rooted in hymns and prayers, since it begins in the gospels - with a difference. Our friendship with the Lord is just that; he is the Lord, so it is not the friendship of equals. But in many other kinds of friendship too, age, talents, and status may all be quite varied.

One favourite text shows Christ as a 'friend of sinners'; the insult which became an accolade. In another, his friends are those who do what he tells them; probably not on your short list. But if his friendship has different dimensions, it is not less than that of others, but more. Now think of some hymns which spell this out.

You may make a note of 'How sweet the name of Jesus sounds'. I don't count that because the word 'friend' comes only in a string of titles; it is not a text about friendship. But the same author wrote another, and I found five more hymns without doing a word-search. Most are in enough evangelical books to stand some chance of being chosen in your church. But what they say about the best Friend of all divides them into three pairs.

John Newton's 'other' hymn on friendship really does take that as its theme: 'One there is above all others well deserves the name of friend.' Why? First, his costly, free, everlasting love! (Was that on your list?) How did he show it? He shed his blood, and died to have us reconciled to God; verse 2. Newton also includes what we seldom sing - how appallingly we treat him! Making a pair with that is Tydeman's 'I have a friend whose faithful love'; not the central mark of friendship. This love involves incarnation, crucifixion ('for me... he saved me') and glory.

What are friends for?

The next pair I blush to name. Here comes 'What a friend we have in Jesus' and 'I need thee, precious Jesus'. What are friends for, again? Apparently, to have a good old self-centred, self-indulgent, self-pitying, self-righteous moan and groan at! The second mentions Jesus's blood, but neither of these shows clearly what he has done; nor do they speak of his love. They are both taken up instead with my need of sympathy, soothing, and comfort in his arms. One of them actually complains about other friends despising and forsaking us; I have every sympathy - with them! Someone will protest that this hymn was a heartcry born of personal tragedy. Just so; is that to be our staple prayer-meeting nourishment?

So to our final pair. The translation 'O Jesus, friend unfailing' is not in many books; but James Grindlay Small's 'I've found a friend' is. The former omits the cross, but the whole point is finding strength for the journey and learning not to whinge. Even better and despite Sullivan's comic-opera tune, Mr. Small's hymn tells how 'he bled, he died to save me' and goes on to energise us; the words 'guide', 'endeavour', 'watch' and 'work' give the hymn a character totally missing from the verses of infantile or senile dependence.

But even the best of these is dated. Who said we had enough hymns already? And who will write a strong modern hymn on what it means to be a friend of Jesus?

My friend Jesus

What are friends for?

Christopher Idle

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