The worldview of Self

Once upon a time there was a handsome youth called Narcissus, who was arrogant and self-centred.

The young ladies couldn't help falling in love with him. One was especially persistent, entreating a goddess, 'Make him love me'. She got no answer. Finally, in desperation, she prayed that he would learn what it was like to love someone without that love being reciprocated.

One day Narcissus came upon a quiet fountain, bent to drink, and immediately fell in love with the face he saw. But each time he tried to kiss this beauty, it disappeared. His new love held and captivated him; he could not leave and he lost all desire for food and drink. Finally, Narcissus died staring at his image in the fountain, striving to embrace the one object of his desire: himself.

Narcissism is psychological death. This is the insight of this ancient Greek myth. If I concentrate solely on myself, I eventually destroy myself. The simple reason for this is that God created us for relationship, for community, to be connected to others. As God exists within community - Father, Son and Holy Spirit - so we are to exist within the community of relationships with other human beings.

World of mirrors

The Greek myth of Narcissus illustrates a modern phenomenon - an extreme preoccupation with self. Narcissism is recognised today as a rarely-diagnosed, though serious, personality disorder. We all share some of this trait. We become so focused on self that we struggle to relate to that which is outside. You become a mirror whereby I pick up messages about myself. If you smile, I feel good about myself; if you frown, I feel bad. When a narcissist comes into a room full of people, he or she does not see individuals with their own needs and problems, rather an audience to reflect back to self; people to impress, be admired by, get pity from, manipulate, to be available for us.

I call this condition the worldview of self. What is shocking about this phenomenon is that we actually redefine what reality is; it no longer has authoritative existence outside of the self. The Christian view of reality is the opposite. Within the circle of reality we take our place in submission to God. Because God has spoken there is a sufficient basis for understanding the world around us.

Unique age

Narcissism is one of the greatest challenges to evangelicals today. This is the age of self in a unique way. Narcissus provides us with a way of understanding the psychological impact of recent social and ideological changes in our culture. Perhaps we are seeing the literal fulfilment of Paul's words: 'men will be lovers of self', literally, 'they will fall in love with themselves' (2 Timothy 3.1-2).

Why are we narcissists?

Descartes ('I think, therefore I am') is known as the father of modern philosophy. He believed that the self could discover truth without help of external revelation; all that was needed was a rational thought process (Rationalism). Initially, this gave great confidence to Western civilisation and served to promote the utopian view of human progress and happiness (Humanism) that was so much a part of 17th and 18th century consciousness. During this Enlightenment, man kicked God out. Reason was the basis of all knowledge; self was going to figure out the world.

There grew an increasing scepticism of how we understood the world around us: the more we saw its immensity, the more we were humbled and the less certain we became. We lost the basis for epistemology (knowing) and started reflecting back to ourselves. From Hume and Kant onwards there was a sustained attack upon the mind's claimed ability to comprehend truth and reality. This paved the way for the Romantic Movement, whose catchwords - feeling, imagination, experience and intuition - are legitimate, but went too far. For the romantic, the self is still the determiner of truth but now it is set free to interpret life in its own way. Ever since, philosophy has never escaped this inward preoccupation. In the change from Romanticism to Postmodernism, the postmodernist no longer harbours hopes of discovering the truth, and so seeks to find satisfaction for the self through whatever means possible.

Modern science follows this same trend. In the Enlightenment, science was fuelled by tremendous optimism and confidence. Given time, every secret would be uncovered: the world was a machine which science could fully explain. This confidence was badly dented early in the 20th century. New science blew open a whole new dimension to our physical world - Relativity and Quantum Theory, stating that there are certain things in our world which science cannot predict. We were humbled and forced to feel small and alone in this vast universe. It has proved incapable of telling us who we are. It does not offer anything in terms of the moral or personal.

As Christians, we know why science has been unable to cross the frontier of self - we bear the image of God and can only be understood through the context of our likeness to him. When the world gives me no way of valuing my self or sense of worth, the pattern reappears and I retreat within.

What is the impact?

History

The narcissist fails to see that our existence depends on those who have gone before, as does the existence of those who will follow. This is a history that is bigger than the individual. 20th-century philosophy and science, plus two world wars, have given us very little sense of hope about tomorrow. A culture that fears its future is unlikely to give it much attention.

The implications for the Christian faith are undeniable. Our faith is rooted in history. The Bible is the story of how God has acted in history, the climax being the incarnation, death and resurrection of the Messiah. The same faith raises hope in the future, including the return of Christ.

Consumerism

At the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, workers were producers, and employers cared little for what they did away from work. Few could see that a society based on mass production required the organisation of mass consumption. When technology reached the stage where it could easily satisfy people's basic needs, it then needed to create new consumer demands. No longer would advertising simply hold forth the advantages of its product, it actually manufactured a product of its own - the consumer.

The impact of consumerism on churches has yet to be fully realised, but it has redefined our very character. How we engage with church: 'Will it make me feel good?' How we engage with worship: 'Will it make me feel good?' How we engage with God: Bob Dylan said, 'You think he's just an errand boy to satisfy your needs.'

Therapeutic culture

All therapy is not wrong; it is the scale that is intriguing. It is said that the therapist is the fastest growing professional category in the world: supply meets demand.

Today's desire is not sorting out one's life: taking responsibility and facing things outside one's self (paying off debts, working at relationships, being a better parent). For those with a narcissistic worldview of self, a therapeutic culture is like a plate of chocolate chip cookies to a starving boy - feeling good about myself is the most important thing there is.

The cure for narcissism

There is no slick technique or recovery plan, but here are some ideas for overcoming the worldview of self.

1. Come to grips with the reality of God. You are not the centre of reality, God is. I find my identity by looking beyond myself, not by being preoccupied with self. A therapeutic god, who exists primarily for our benefit, is not going to help us out of the worldview of self. The God we need to hear about is transcendent, the unmanageable, awesomely holy God of the Bible. When I encounter his holiness it is deeply disruptive. He calls me to respond to him rather than my calling him to respond to me.

2. Coming to terms with our humanity can only be done by focusing on God, but what about others? Firstly, as a person created by a God who is Trinity, I need relationship with others; I was made for community companionship. Secondly, everything I have is a gift and does not belong to me (abilities, virtues, etc.). This does not mean my needs do not matter, but the purpose of my existence is for others. As Jesus said, I find life by losing it, laying it down for others.

3. The experience of radical, authentic community is a constant challenge to the worldview of self. You cannot ignore the existence of other people. They snore in your dormitory! You confront a mess you did not make in the loos! In community, serving others is essential for it to function. In a world increasingly privatised, we need to create contexts where real community is experienced.

4. So much beauty exists outside of self. Here, I want to affirm culture. Art that does extend beyond the artist has the power to usher in the presence of a reality beyond ourselves. Human artefacts are only a part of the beauty of our world - the beauty of creation, the (sometimes) overwhelming beauty of people.
My daily prayer is: 'Lord, give me eyes to see, give me ears to hear.'

Reprinted with permission from The City Gate, Autumn 2001.