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10-point plan to combat divorce

In December two more high profile marriages failed. Kate Winslet announced the end of her three-year marriage, and Drew Barrymore and her husband said they were seeking a divorce less than a year after marrying.

But it does not have to be like this. DivorceCare UK, who provide support for people who are separated or divorced, have announced a 10-point plan to combat divorce. The plan is designed to encourage couples to work together on their relationship rather than start divorce proceedings. In the UK in 1999 there were 301,083 marriages and 158,746 divorces - more than one divorce for every two marriages. The direct cost of divorce to UK taxpayers each year is estimated at £15bn.

Merrily Richie of DivorceCare UK said: 'The breakdown of any marriage is a tragedy, typified by much pain, conflict and damage to children. Many people are stumbling around in the dark without the tools to address problems in their relationships when they appear. This 10-point plan aims to give people guidelines that could put them on the road to reconciliation.'

The 10 points are:

1 Develop non-physical intimacy and friendship with your spouse.
2 Encourage trust and closeness by becoming open, honest and vulnerable.
3 Learn constructive ways to handle anger.
4 Practise forgiveness.
5 Listen carefully to your spouse and respect his/her emotions.
6 Remember that commitment is what holds a marriage together.
7 Learn all you can about love in the Bible.
8 Spend exclusive time together, ideally once a week.
9 Don't be afraid to involve a third party (such as a marriage counsellor) when there is trouble.
10 Never underestimate the power of prayer and of the Holy Spirit.

Merrily continued: 'No matter how brief a marriage, it is still a union that has been torn apart. Many divorces are filed on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, but unless serious abuse is occurring, this reason is usually a cop-out.'

DivorceCare 020 8534 7339, email: 105344.1642@compuserve.com